Last year at the holiday party, my boss’ husband came on to me. It was so uncomfortable and awkward. Thankfully, one of my male colleagues witnessed, and whisked me away. We left shortly after, mumbling something about a family commitment.
When I saw my boss for the first time after the incident, I was convinced she had seen something as she was very cold and distant towards me. But over the course of the next month, she warmed up and was helpful and kind.
We never brought up the incident and I forgot about it completely. Until now. I’ve been invited to their work/friend New Year’s Eve party at their house. From a friend perspective, I don’t feel the need to go. We’re not good friends and don’t have much in common.
But from a work perspective, it’s a big honour to be invited and could probably enhance my career.
What do I do?
Enlist that same male colleague to join as your plus one. If he wasn’t invited and feels awkward attending, bring a trusted friend. Explain your concerns, but keep it light. And stay together all night.
Also, make other plans so you have a legit excuse to bow out early. That way you’re attending and keeping it positive at work, but not overstaying somewhere that’s not really your vibe.
This way, last year’s come-on won’t have any chance of happening again.
My daughter’s teacher seems oddly threatened by my daughter, oddly because she is only 13. My daughter is bright, a good student and an interested learner. She’s quick and asks questions the minute something doesn’t click. She raises her hand often, but her questions aren’t disruptive, meaning, the teacher isn’t repeating herself.
I spoke with the teacher about a month after school started, and I didn’t get a good feeling from her. She was dismissive of me and my concerns. I let it go and hoped the situation would smooth itself out.
It’s now the end of the term and nothing has changed. In fact, it’s worse in that the teacher refuses to answer my daughter, and then gets angry when my daughter seeks clarification from a fellow classmate.
How do I manage this situation?
If you think your daughter cannot advocate for herself, I suggest you speak with the teacher again. If that goes nowhere, speak with the principal.
FEEDBACK Regarding the woman unsure whether to accompany her husband on a trip abroad to see his son from his first marriage (Dec. 6):
Reader – “I think the wife should go with her husband on the visit abroad to his son. First of all, it would probably be an interesting trip on its own. Secondly, it’s ridiculous not to have met the son in their 20 years of marriage, especially given that he came to their city for a week as a teenager.
“But most importantly, her husband has asked her to come, and he clearly feels somewhat unable to resist pressure from the mother to spend beyond his means. The second wife doesn’t have to hang out with the ex and the son for the whole week. Just meet them, perhaps for dinner, and then go off on her own sightseeing, joining her husband for part of each day.
“If the first wife is indeed a financial threat - and I don’t think there’s anything out of line in asking a father to “treat” his rarely-seen teenage son for a week - being on the spot will ensure that her husband won’t succumb to unwarranted pressure, which is probably exacerbated by the fact he has had little to do with his son beyond paying support.”
FEEDBACK Regarding the grandmother convinced her granddaughter stole a gold necklace from her house (Dec. 7):
Reader – “Rather than a new gold chain, I would give the granddaughter the junk chain left in place of the original gold one, along with another present at the more usual price point for the grandmother to spend. If the granddaughter is guilty, she’ll realize Grandma knows; if not, she’ll just think it’s an extra bauble.”
FEEDBACK Regarding the mother concerned about another mother being overly interested in her daughter (Dec. 10):
Reader – “Assume the best, but be prepared for the worst.
“Next time the friend’s mom comes on the iPad, she should go on too to have a quick chat. Then strongly suggest the girls get back to their homework.
“When opportunity permits, the two women should go for coffee and get to know each other. Then the mother can decide the best approach to take, if anything.”