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Tip of the Day Archive

March 28, 2020

When divorce causes children ongoing distress, they need reassurance of being loved, not being at fault. They may also need therapy.

March 27, 2020

It’s worth a try to give true love a chance.

March 26, 2020

When an ex-spouse’s relationship may threaten a sensitive child’s stability, get counselling and support services for help.

March 25, 2020

Women in abusive relationships need courage/support to get themselves (and their children) to safety as soon as possible.

March 24, 2020

When there’s ongoing stress between two generations of women with uncertain roles,

seek solutions, not blame.

March 23, 2020

Weigh life’s risks and go forward with those for which you have passion and learned experience.

March 21, 2020

Probe through counselling why someone cheated and whether to trust him/her again.

March 20, 2020

You’re not “crazy,” he’s lying. Get counselling help.

March 19, 2020

Got a “crush”? Text messaging should be mutual, without pressure to be instant, except when in emergencies.

March 18, 2020

When a date reveals sexual quirks that turn you off, don’t doubt yourself, move on.

March 17, 2020

When your post-divorce ex is your “best friend,” almost anything is possible.

March 16, 2020

Since money can be a harsh deal-breaker, discuss issues like wills well ahead, especially where children are from previous marriages.

March 14, 2020

Abuse cannot be accepted, neither for the sake of love nor parenting. Change must be absolute or distrusted.

March 13, 2020

There’s a lot more needed in a partner, to sustain a loving relationship, than just good looks.

March 12, 2020

In a break-up, becoming “friends” doesn’t easily work for the person being rejected as a lover/partner. Proceed decently but firmly.

March 11, 2020

Red flags for narcissism in early dating include arrogance, repeated cheating, and passive-aggressive comments.

March 10, 2020

You can’t always have an ideal in-law relationship, but you can try to adjust to a different relationship that’s mutually acceptable.

March 9, 2020

Couples should openly discuss together the changes in libido caused by menopause (and/or men’s aging symptoms), to find new approaches to intimacy.

March 7, 2020

Being in love isn’t necessarily the same as loving someone.

Knowing each other longer and deeper will tell which emotion prevails.

March 6, 2020

When control/manipulation are involved in an extra-marital affair, disclosure should be directed at helping the vulnerable person involved.

March 5, 2020

Online dating requires patience and trying different approaches.

March 4, 2020

You can only “save” someone you love from unhealthy habits if/when they’re ready to change for their own benefit, not what they misinterpret as your benefit or unsolicited criticism.

March 3, 2020

Early signals of control and isolation are relationship red flags.

Act immediately to end the behaviour or leave.

March 2, 2020

Seriously seeking a life partner? Widen your social contacts.

Or try a professional match-maker’s help.

 

February 29, 2020

Get to know enough about the person you’re dating to build trust.

February 28, 2020

You can’t “fight fair” if you bring unhealthy/immature reactions to every dispute as a couple.

February 27, 2020

Searching for lost or unknown relatives? Prepare ahead mentally for possibly receiving uncomfortable or disappointing information.

February 26, 2020

Emotional affairs may fill a relationship gap that a couple haven’t acknowledged. But they’re as deceitful/hurtful as a physical affair.

 

February 25, 2020

Help a mother and you help a child.

February 24, 2020

Children need their parents to discuss, age-appropriately, the issues of the day with them, to build informed awareness and combat fears.

February 22, 2020

A good roommate relationship is valuable. Make sure any other emotions are discussed and mutually agreed.

February 21, 2020

When divorce is the choice for an unhappy, unworkable marriage, identify your positive needs/ expectations, and how to meld them with another’s if there’s a new relationship.

February 20, 2020

Narcissism’s effect on others can be harmful, especially to young people being manipulated emotionally.

February 19, 2020

Instant Love at First Sight is wonderfully magical. Taking time to build friendship/trust is wise reality.

February 18, 2020

When a relationship feels right, don’t walk away from challenges. Talk them through, try ways to adapt.

 

February 17, 2020

Women experiencing a difficult menopause will more likely seek advice/remedies if their partners show understanding without pressuring for sex.

February 15, 2020

When there’s a rush to intimacy and isolation – always being alone instead of meeting friends – start probing the reasons.

February 14, 2020

The message of Valentine’s Day is to keep love and partnership foremost in your relationship, beyond material gifts.

February 13, 2020

Repeatedly selfish, self-serving behaviour is emotionally hard on everyone involved.

 

February 12, 2020

Large weight gains/obesity often involve many factors, well beyond indulgence.

February 11, 2020

A sibling’s intrusive health-related message may have a caring intent. Worth discussing.

February 10, 2020

The best help for a deeply-grieving person is understanding and support.

February 8, 2020

Differing finances among family members can cause problems.

But friendship and thoughtfulness can ease the differences.

February 7, 2020

Don’t rush a live-in relationship before knowing solid facts, agreed plans and his/her true character.

 

February 6, 2020

Family dysfunctions are usually apparent. Be helpful to new members when its needed.

February 5, 2020

If you’ve taken on a major life challenge, ease up on side issues for a while.

February 4, 2020

Even the best of friends need to make sure that financial agreements are drawn up legally.

February 3, 2020

Grief from the past must be addressed in the present, if memories/guilt still disturb you.

February 1, 2020

A relationship can exist mostly in your own mind, if you let fantasy build up instead of asking direct questions. Protect yourself from painful disappointment.

January 31, 2020

Don’t dismiss the power of emotional connection. It’s needed at every age phase.

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Dear Readers – For years, I’ve answered your questions two weeks ahead, to be on time for their publication date.

Thus, recent columns were written before the full reality of Covid-19 elicited your concerns. Some columns still include your pre-virus issues, but many will soon reflect how our relationships are affected in the new not-so-normal. Ellie