Tip of the Day Archive
When a marriage is breaking down, focus on your choices, not just blame.
Avoid too-much-information about a family member’s cheating. Encourage counselling so the couple confronts their problems.
A secret affair with a married partner insisting on no future together, usually ends in resentments.
Contact and visit frail elderly relatives to assure that their condition/care doesn’t require intervention.
Don’t let a rare, bad choice of cheating define you. Focus on the reasons, and change what you can.
It’s hard to accept that someone deceived you and cheated. But you can move on in time.
Introduce your post-divorce “friend” slowly and thoughtfully to your children, and your ex too, if sharing custody.
Never resort to threats or harassment.
If someone tries to cross the friendship line with your partner, present a united front against it.
If a couple can’t discuss their sex problem, they’re unlikely to stay together.
Do not accept a spouse’s repeated cheating and irresponsibility regarding your children.
Learn your own value, become self-protective, and avoid hangers-on. Therapy helps.
Finances can be a major battleground for couples. Negotiate from understanding and love, not control.
What is it that holds “opposites” together? Love, but only if boosted by mutual respect and shared core values.
When a relationship has you feeling insecure, counselling can reveal whether it comes from within you or him/her.
Late-age love is a gift to enjoy. But if it feels stolen, decide how you can best handle it.
When your feelings over a spouse’s opposite-sex friendships are ignored, try counselling on your own before a complicated divorce.
An ex-spouse’s dating post-divorce is his/her business. But if travelling, someone needs to know where.
There are many sides to why someone cheats – his, hers, the lover’s and the kids.’
When something’s new/odd/disturbing about your physical or mental health, seek experienced professional help.
Separating a family is a tough decision. But accepting physical/emotional abuse, fear, and cheating is worse.
It’s the clinging to family rifts that divide even the next generation. Reach across that gap wherever possible.
To have closeness with relatives, respect for each other’s needs and situations must be equal.
If there’s no physical attraction to your partner, you’re unlikely to stay committed or faithful.
Choosing a partner with commitments to his/her past loves builds relationship insecurities that’ll likely persist.
Meanness over money (especially when it’s available) can destroy a relationship.
Don’t rush your new “friend” into your children’s lives until you’ve thought out the best possible approaches.
Don’t seek a relationship when your life’s in flux. Focus on major challenges first.
Marriage has periods of hard work. Don’t be seduced by someone else playing fast and loose with your feelings.
When a friend’s devastated by a lost relationship, give support through distraction and/or suggest professional help.
When a partner’s suddenly “fallen out of love,” there’s more going on than you’re being told. Without joint counselling, there’s little hope.
A rocky, stressful marriage? Look first at reasons on both sides, through counseling, before considering leaving.
When a partner sneakily changes a legal agreement, trust is lost and the relationship damaged.
A co-worker “friend only” who’s sexually teasing you, is playing mind-games you need to end.
A young grandchild with family and behaviour problems especially needs loving encouragement, not distance.
Withholding affection while promising more in a relationship is a control tactic. And a red flag.
Don’t push for a new relationship with someone who’s still suffering trauma from the last one.
Waiting alone for a future with your married lover? Focus on yourself, instead.
Don’t accept repeated angry outbursts and meanness from a partner. Insist on him/her getting anger management therapy or leaving.
An adult “crush” obvious among work colleagues can be self-defeating. Focus on your strengths for greater self-confidence.
Don’t wait too long when dating to confide a personal illness. It can be seen as deceit.
Single and hooked on a lying cheater? Rescue yourself because he/she won’t change.
When a dating/relationship partner uses controlling and mean behaviour, take a long enough break to assess the whole relationship.
Let time and counselling help you absorb devastating events before making dramatic, difficult moves.
Harassment of an ex’es next partner calls for strong boundaries, period.
No sex, little agreement, no equality, just arguments, adds up to a negative relationship with pressing reasons to move on.
When a cheater keeps expecting he/she will be forgiven, the behaviour will not change.
Sex, if it’s your only connection to a married person, is a self-indulgent excuse for cheating on someone else’s unknowing partner.
Past relationships needn’t define you. They can make you wiser, more selective, and more ready for a happy future.
Barring physical or emotional abuse, marriage is worth the time/effort of counselling, until you’re certain it isn’t.