A friend of mine who lost her husband not that long ago, has quite suddenly been pursued by an individual who swears that she’s the sexiest, most intelligent, glamorous person he’s ever met. After a very short period of dating, he’s already suggested that he move into her place. He also wants to listen in on her phone calls, and she has given him access to her financial dealings.
Relatives are suggesting that she’s being “love bombed” and from what I’ve read about this technique, it sounds like trouble ahead.
How can someone in this situation be helped?
Senior Scam
Your friend should NOT allow this person to move in, now or ever. On your details alone, this new relationship has red flags waving strong. You, any of her other friends and her relatives need to have an intervention with this woman.
Does she have any children? I am certain they will NOT be happy when they learn that this new person has access to their mother’s finances. I strongly suggest that someone call her lawyer, if she has one, and her bank. A high-level manager will hear the alarm bells you are sharing and freeze her accounts or keep an eye out for inconsistent activity.
She may still be in shock from the loss of her husband; she may be swept off her feet by this new person; or a combination of the two. It may be a struggle to get her to see the light, but I would risk my friendship for that.
The year is coming to an end and so too is my life as I know it. I’m getting old! I can feel it in everything I do, and every time I look in the mirror. I can’t sleep anymore, so I’m exhausted all the time. I feel like my grandmother! She used to be up at dawn baking and then she’d watch all the late-night TV shows. I could never figure out why she didn’t sleep.
And my other grandmother barely remembered anything. She’d leave the phone in the fridge and the TV remote in her bed. She was always calling items “whaddaya call it” – and I can’t remember names for things either. But I’m much younger than they were. What is going on?
Old Before My Time
You mentioned several symptoms which are some of the major signs that you are (perhaps) going through menopause. I strongly suggest you start recording your cycle, if you don’t already. If your period is irregular for three months in a row, that’s a sign that you’re starting perimenopause. Once you haven’t had a period for a full year, you are officially in menopause.
Sleep disruption, brain fog, joint pain, weight gain, skin and hair texture changes all point to a shift in your hormone levels. It would behoove you to make an appointment with your doctor and ask to check your levels. The average age for women to start going through menopause is 45, but that can vary greatly due to many factors. So don’t hang your hat on your age – just go get checked out.
But your life is NOT over! There is life after menopause! Once you figure it all out with your doctor, you can and will have restful nights of plenty of sleep. And you can manage your weight and fitness levels. Finding the right products, for your skin and hair, can help you get back that glow.
Don’t give up on yourself! Be proactive and figure out what’s going on inside that’s affecting you on the outside.
FEEDBACK Regarding smokin’ hot (Sept. 27):
Reader – “I thought of a reason the woman doesn't move and has facial contortions. Perhaps sex is painful. Perhaps she has endometriosis or another physical problem. If she's inexperienced, she may not know that sex isn't supposed to hurt, and her face is showing pain. She may not enjoy it but wants to please and connect with her partner.”
Reader #2 – “Consideration should be given as to whether she has had some sort of bad/unwanted previous sexual experience to whatever degree of seriousness, that overshadows even consensual sex now.
“Or, perhaps it has something to do with his ability to ensure that she is properly stimulated. That last thought is said without malice. I am 70 years young and have been lucky enough to have always had sexual partners that knew how to give as well as how to receive.”