I’m having the best sex of my life and don’t want it to stop. However, I know it must. I’m married, he’s married and not to each other.
He has a good marriage. He and his wife get along great, have great kids, a gorgeous home and travel a lot, both for fun and work. That’s how we met. We were next to each other on a plane home from New York. We spent the whole flight chatting, innocently, and went our separate ways.
In a strange coincidence, I was bumped off a flight the following month and on to his, seated side-by-side. We chatted the whole flight, grabbed drinks and one thing led to another.
It’s now been going on for several months. And like I said, it’s the best sex. My husband and I dried up about a year before I met this man. He has zero interest in having any sexual relations with me, in any intimacy. We’re barely friends anymore. He gets up early, goes to bed early and spends his free time doing the things that interest him, none of which include me.
For months I tried to show affection, to instigate sexual activity, but was continuously rejected. So, I gave up. I then tried to focus on spending time together, but as mentioned, he’s not interested in doing any of the things I enjoy and vice versa. So now we’re living this partnership, and I can tell it’s not going to last long.
That was my impetus for the affair – sexual longing and need for human touch. I have no idea what my “friend’s” impetus was, or why he still engages. He and his wife also have an active sex life, though he admits it’s slowed down since he’s been with me.
Should I be shutting this down? Or can I wait and enjoy the sex for as long as possible?
Sexual Affair
You know as well as I do that having an affair with a married person, while you yourself are still married, is unfair to all four people involved. His wife will be so hurt, which will probably negatively affect their marriage, which will almost certainly have ripple effects on their innocent children.
If you call it off, he’ll be hurt (but he’ll get over it). If he gets outed, it’ll be a disaster. If he breaks it off with you, you’ll be devastated. If you get outed, it could easily mean the end of your marriage (which you may secretly be hoping for).
You know what you need to do. You just don’t want to.
When I was in high school, especially in my last year, I was promiscuous. I didn’t go “all the way” with anybody, but I did a lot with many. Those days are long over, I’ve been married, divorced and am now remarried to a wonderful man.
This spring marks my 35th high school reunion, and because we missed our 30th due to COVID restrictions, we’re ALL excited for our big night. Since it’s just a night out locally, almost everyone is bringing their spouse, as will I. But I’m very worried that some of the guys I fooled around with will say something inappropriate in front of my husband.
What do I do?
Reputation
Speak to your husband in advance. If he doesn’t know about your history from your teenage years, this is your opportunity to share. We all make mistakes when we’re young; it’s a rite of passage. No one got hurt, it’s all in the past, just laugh it off. With your husband by your side, hopefully the comments will be tame, but at least both of you will be forewarned and forearmed.
FEEDBACK Regarding the woman who disappeared just as the crush was in full bloom (Dec. 30):
Reader – “I regularly walked my little dog and met many other dog walkers who I only knew by first name. Unfortunately, my dog became ill and had to be put down. Since then, I no longer walk the neighbourhood. This could be the reason she hasn’t been back. But your advice, to just move on with your life, was spot on!”
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Reader – “There are staff shortages at most retail stores nowadays, but absolutely no reason for any worker to be rude to a customer. Many stores are stepping up their customer service to lessen the impact of higher prices due to inflation.
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