What do I do about my friends who have appallingly bad email manners? These people don’t respond to any invitations emailed to them, through a third-party website, or simply from myself. They wait until the last possible moment to RSVP, which makes me think they’re just waiting for something better to come along before they commit. These same “friends” will invite themselves to events that I have mentioned I’m attending.

I find their behaviour shocking! And these are not young people – we are all in our late 70s and early 80s! They should know better than to behave this way!

Invitation Only

If I were in your shoes, I would also be annoyed and aggravated. But I’m going to take a different viewpoint here. Could it be that your friends are losing their tech touch? I know someone who is of similar age who has just dropped all his tech knowledge. He no longer answers his phone, replies to texts, sends texts or emails, or replies to emails – he’s just done. Too hard on his brain. But he refuses to come right out and say it.

Perhaps you should try the gentler approach, and when something comes up that you would like to invite your friends to, ask them in person when you are together.

And about inviting themselves… they may have just lost some etiquette due to age. Be kind. Does it matter whether they are in attendance?

Lastly, since you sound as though you are still engaged and switched on, perhaps look for friends who are more like-minded and invite them to parties and events.

My friend has suffered some heavy losses recently. Her sister was killed in a car accident about a year ago, and her boyfriend died suddenly from an infection that caused sepsis. I think she’s in shock and denial, and I’m very worried about her.

Her parents are understandably devastated by the loss of their daughter but have each other for support. My friend leaned into her boyfriend for support when her sister’s accident happened, and he was her rock. But now…. she has no one to lean on. Her parents are still mired in their grief, and don’t have the bandwidth to support their daughter in hers.

We’re close, but not besties. I think she needs more than just a friend; I think she needs help. What should I do?

Too Much Loss

You’re so kind to be concerned and to reach out on your friend’s behalf. You’re right – your friend needs grief counselling and support. She may very well be in both shock and denial, and when those dissipate, she’s going to crash.

If either of you are in school, there should be counsellors on staff who you could speak with about your friend. You could do a Google search in your area for grief counselling. There may even be a group you could take her to. And if you get the chance to speak with her parents, perhaps hearing that their daughter needs help may snap them out of their own despair enough to support her.

FEEDBACK Regarding the wife whose husband comments on her boobs (Oct. 19):

Reader – “She has to set the tone on what behaviour she will accept from her husband alone and in front of friends. She should lay out her expectation of respect from him regarding her chest before they are out with friends and tell him that if he demeans her again, she will leave him there and go home - and then be prepared to do so. She’s the one who holds the power in this situation, and she needs to exert her right to be treated respectfully.”

FEEDBACK Regarding the turtle hunter (Oct. 26):

Reader – “Thank you for bringing a smile to my face. Stress is certainly in the air these days and you have a way of taking life's stressors and frustrations and bringing them down a notch.

“Your suggestion to 'turtle guy's' neighbour did just that - offered a fun but decisive solution to the issue, in a way that (hopefully) keeps good neighbours 'good' and on friendly terms.

“Thanks for your wise, creative and nonreactionary responses to life's big - and little - challenges.”

FEEDBACK Regarding the sex toy (Oct. 26):

Reader – “I’m writing to protest your recommendation of … Amazon! Jeff Bezos doesn’t need our money and local businesses DO!  Every city of any size has a good sex shop, even Shoppers Drug Mart sells vibrators, and there are many good online independent manufacturers and distributors. Venusenvy.ca  is one of my personal favourites.  And they too will deliver right to her door.”