My brother and his wife are going through a very rough patch in their relationship and needed some time alone this summer. I offered for them to come to the cottage, as a family, and then leave the kids with me for two weeks. I adore my niece and nephew and was over the moon to have them to myself for a few weeks. They were so easy to be around, and they get along incredibly well with my children.

After two weeks, my brother called and said that his wife was coming to get the kids, and he was taking a few days alone. I was fine with that; my brother and I are close, but I also adore his wife and was happy to have a few days alone with her.

She was supposed to arrive on Thursday but didn’t. I tried contacting my brother but knew he was off-grid fishing so wasn’t surprised when he was MIA. Friday, my SIL arrived very late in the evening and was clearly inebriated. I managed to get her to bed before the kids saw her and immediately called my brother, but still no response.

Early the next morning, he called and I told him what had happened. He freaked out and insisted I keep her and the kids at the cottage until he arrived. When my SIL awoke, the first thing she did was beg me not to tell my brother, but I admitted I already had. She became hysterical and I had to get my mom to come over from her cottage and take all the grandchildren over to her place for the day.

My brother arrived and they went at it. I tried to leave, but he wanted me there as a witness. It was awful! And now I have the kids until they start school at the end of September, when mine start after Labour Day.

How do I handle this mess, and still be a good mom and a good aunt?

In Too Deep

What a mess! Your brother and his wife need to get their marriage in order, for nothing else but the sake of their children. I gather the children are young enough to not fully understand, but old enough to feel that something isn’t right.

If you’re OK to keep the kids for the rest of the month, then do so. Simply by doing this good deed, you’re showing your niece and nephew how loved they are, by you, and teaching your own children that the right thing to do, if able, is to show up for those you love in their time of need. You ARE a good mom and a good aunt! The proof is in your actions.

Every month I pay my landlord on the first. In the past six months of living here, I once paid on the second. But every month, he waits until the third week before depositing my money.

This month, though I paid on the first, he has sent me nasty messages accusing me of ALWAYS paying late and not paying at all. How do I deal with this?

Landlord Lunacy

Go online or to your local bank branch and print records of when you sent the money and when it was cashed (if by cheque) or accepted (if by e-transfer). Send this to your landlord and state clearly that you have proof of all monies changing hands and you don’t appreciate the false accusations.

Hopefully this will end the tirade. If not, you may suffer the landlord’s consequences, if they are that way inclined. Worst case scenario, you move.

FEEDBACK Regarding grief and friendship (June 24):

Reader – “I want to recognize your kind response regarding the husband upset with his friend’s disappearance due to his daughter’s tragic cancer diagnosis. I agree that they probably just want uninterrupted time to deal with the shock of her illness and spend time with her.

“Our daughter was diagnosed with stage four bile duct cancer in 2021. She died 14 months later leaving us, and her two young children devastated. During that time, people kindly wanted to help us, reaching out constantly. We were completely overwhelmed, taking care of her, her toddler and young child.

“We didn’t know what we needed until we needed it. Also, I couldn’t bring myself to ask for help; I didn’t want to show our utter devastation and exhaustion to others; and the constant requests for updates from friends was exhausting.

“Perhaps this is also why this poor family isn’t reaching out. It’s so hard to process everything that’s happening.”