My son has switched schools for every major growth period, each time for a different reason. We switched him from his early elementary school to another one when we moved neighbourhoods; we switched him to a different middle school because we didn’t like the way the middle school was run at his current school. We switched him to a different high school even though his middle school had a high school attached because we thought it was too small a community.

He’s now starting Grade 10, his second year at this high school, and he’s asking to switch. We obviously don’t have a problem switching him, but we need a viable reason. It’s not as easy as one-two-three, so we must understand why we’re putting in the effort. But he can’t seem to give us a good reason.

It’s a little late in the year to be patient and try to figure him out. How do we understand this?

Parental Pause

Luckily, it’s never too late to switch schools, though there are consequences as every week passes. It’s only two weeks into the new school year, so from a student perspective, it shouldn’t be a tough move. However, depending on what type of school you’re looking at, many will be at capacity.

And yes, I agree, it’s imperative to know his WHY so you can react accordingly. Are the academics too high where he’s at? Is he feeling that a single-gender school isn’t for him? Does he need more athletics? Just a few examples of what he could be thinking – and each will garner a different response.

Try having a meeting with his school’s guidance counsellor to see if your son will speak up in a third-party setting. Have the guidance counsellor explain that all the adults want what’s best for him, but that’s hard to decipher without his input. If he still stays quiet, you may need to find a therapist who he’ll talk to. Good luck!

I have two siblings who are eight and 10 years older than me. When I was a kid, they used to speak in code, but I never knew that it was code. I just thought that they were cool kids who had lots of friends and were very helpful around the neighbourhood.

They’d say things like, “Have you spoken with Mary Jane today?” Little did I know they were talking about marijuana. I thought my one brother had all these cool friends with names like Jack Daniels and Jim Beam. And they were always talking about cleaning the carpets at different girls’ houses.

I was raised with a stricter hand, and only recently had my first taste of alcohol. My older brother took me out to celebrate the birth of his new baby. He’s 35; I’m 25. We went to a bar, and he ordered two Jack and Coke’s. When I saw the bartender pull out the bottle of Jack Daniels, I couldn’t believe it! I told my brother what I always thought, and he hasn’t stopped teasing me since.

Am I this stupid?

Young and Dumb

It sounds to me like your older siblings, along with your parents, were working hard at sheltering you from all the vices your brothers were already dabbling in. Drugs, sex and alcohol clearly, and maybe other things too.

Next time you see your brother, tell him to stop teasing you. Point out that he was clearly an excellent actor because he did what he set out to do, which was to keep you ignorant of his antics. And if he continues to tease you, don’t let it bother you. He successfully kept you away from the bad things during your teenage years. Thank him and mean it.

FEEDBACK Regarding the boy with smelly feet (June 23):

Reader – “This story caused me to recall memories of my childhood and my smelly feet.  As a very young teen I was terrified and very embarrassed that I would have to take off my shoes at someone's house as my feet really stank.  It had very little to do with my bathing habits as I was to later find out.  It had to do with the socks that were high in synthetic materials, and it was only when I accidentally started wearing socks with a good percentage of wool in them and very little or no synthetic material that the odour disappeared.

“Cotton socks were better, but a high percentage of wool was and has been the best.  Since I changed many years ago, I have never had the problem again.

“So, it could be the same problem for the boy with smelly feet.”