I was second in line to check out at the supermarket. The person in front of me had a full cart, and I had about a third of a cart. A man came behind me with one small item. I told him to go ahead; that it was no problem!

The man with the full cart hadn’t started loading the conveyer belt, when the man with one item kindly asked if he could go first. The man with the huge cart said, "No!"

The man who asked just put his item on the counter and walked away, shaking his head! As the man with the full cart started loading his food, I quietly said, “You know, it would have been awfully kind of you to let that gentleman go ahead." He responded, "I'm in a hurry!"  I said, "Yes, I guess losing 30 seconds of your time was a greater priority."

I wasn't confrontational, just a bit saddened at what I’d just witnessed. Should I have minded my own business, or did I do the right thing?

Harried and Hurried

I guess my answer is neither. I wouldn’t say you did the right thing, but I don’t think you needed to stand quietly by and watch this thoughtless and selfish behaviour. Now, could the man have been in a hurry because he was rushing to get the groceries for his family and get to the school pick up line in time? Sure, but as you say, that one item wouldn’t have caused him to be exorbitantly late.

On the flip side, almost every grocery store has an express lane for less than 16 items (approximately), so why was that man in your lane with only one item? And since he walked away without his purchase, it couldn’t have been that important.

Bottom line, everyone is going through their own stuff. The economy’s bad, many industries are having a tough time, grocery prices are through the roof and people are grumpy. Live your life the best way you can: be kind, be thoughtful, be gracious.

Last week I witnessed a car accident in which one car hit another while the latter was stopped at a red light. The first car was going slowly, trying to move away from a truck that seemed to be turning into him. I was behind the stopped car and saw everything happen in slow motion.

Yes, the car that hit the stopped car was in the wrong, but I, too, thought the truck was going to hit him, so I probably would have done the same thing. The issue is that the stopped car’s driver then got out, crying that she had a concussion and whiplash. It was a great performance, but ridiculous because anyone and everyone in the roadway who saw what happened can attest that there’s no way she’s whipped or concussed.

I gave the driver my name and number, in case they needed. Should I have done that, or just driven away?

MYOB

This answer doesn’t reflect any legal or insurance-based information. From a relationship perspective, you did what felt right to you in the moment, clearly in hopes of protecting the first driver from the dramatics of the second. I wasn’t there, so I can only respond to your description, which doesn’t make it sound as though a concussion or whiplash were possible. But I’m not a doctor and am not refuting any official diagnoses.

Unlike the above question, sometimes I think it’s best not to get involved. But it’s hard to know in the moment. Years ago, I was hit by a taxi. Because I was making a left, it was automatically my fault. Until the customer in the taxi came forward on my behalf.

FEEDBACK Regarding different strokes (July 31):

Reader – “Different Strokes said she was worried about an upcoming trip with a friend in a different income bracket and about expectations of where they will be staying.  If her travelling companion is a true friend, she has nothing to worry about.

“I'm on the flip side of that coin if you will, in that I have a friend who can't always afford the finer things in life.  We reached a compromise years ago in that wherever we go, if we find inexpensive accommodations or eateries, then we just go with the flow.  It's not about the money or luxury accommodations; it's about the quality time that we spend together having fun.”

A True Friend

Lisi – You are a true friend and I agree. It’s not about what you do, or the cost of doing it; it’s about being together having a shared experience.