I hate my sister. She treats our parents so badly and gets away with it. She’s mean and rude and disrespectful to them. She wakes up in the morning in a bad mood. She refuses to eat breakfast and yells back when our parents are trying to hurry us out the door for school.

When she comes home from school, she goes straight to her room, without even speaking to our parents. And then she yells when they ask her to come to the table. When she finally comes down, she complains about the food, is rude to whoever cooked (both my parents cook), and a fight ensues whenever she is asked to help clean up.

I can see that my parents don’t know what to do. How can I help them? My siblings hate the constant fighting.

Disrespectful Sister

That doesn’t sound like a fun house to live in. On the one hand, I would suggest that your parents just leave, on time, to get you (and your other siblings) to school, and so they can get to their jobs. If your sister misses her ride to school, that’s her problem and maybe she’ll learn a lesson. I’m not sure if that’s doable.

If she doesn’t like dinner, your parents can take her plate away and send her back upstairs while you all eat in peace. She won’t starve herself, so she’ll eventually eat.

But I think there’s more going on with your sister than meets the eye. Have your parents had her assessed for any mental health disorders, even those stemming from learning disabilities? For example, often those who are diagnosed with ADHD, also suffer from low self-esteem, lack of confidence, a buildup of shame, and other issues that can affect their behaviour and moods.

It would probably be beneficial for your sister to seek professional help to figure out just what is going on with her. In the meantime, you and your other siblings need to be kind, warm, respectful and loving to your parents.

I know that friendships often have a shelf life, but I didn't expect a decades-old friendship to come to an end this year. I’ve always known that my high school pal is very devoted to her church. I'm a Buddhist and this has never been a source of contention in our friendship. We've seen each other through the loss of parents, difficult jobs and major life transitions.

Since the death of a certain right-wing pundit back in September, I've noticed her social media posts becoming increasingly extremist. I texted her to address the difference between Christian Nationalism and the gospel she honours. No reply.

I communicated with her again a few short weeks ago to ask if she wanted to join me in a food security initiative that we have both supported. No reply.

No reply is the answer that I didn't want, but here we are. Is there any hope for someone who has gone down the rabbit hole of dark, intolerant and hateful thinking?

Mourning a friendship

Without heading into a political debate, I can only remark that extremism in any form is unhealthy and often doesn’t end well. We all have our personal beliefs, whether it be politics, religion, parenting, even nutrition, diet and exercise. What works for you may not work for me and vice versa.

The key to a peaceful existence is tolerance. If you think weightlifting and veganism is the way to go, have at it. I’ll eat all your fish and dairy, and run, bike and swim outdoors.

There’s no room on this planet for hateful thinking or intolerance. Unless you want to bang your head against that wall, I’d walk away. Sorry for your loss.

FEEDBACK Regarding the caffeine-free issue (Oct. 14):

Reader – “Using a drug so you can fast without feeling bad?  Isn’t it the point of religious fasting to experience a degree of discomfort, either as a sacrifice, a discipline or a reminder of the suffering of those forced to go without food because of poverty, famine or illness? Is this medication considered acceptable because it’s not by mouth? What sophistry!”

Lisi – Regardless of its acceptability around fasting, giving them out is illegal since they are prescription meds. That’s what’s far more concerning here.

FEEDBACK Regarding someone unknown (Oct. 14):

Reader – “The writer seems to have missed the bigger picture here.  It is not rational for anyone to believe that some newspaper columnist that they have never met somehow magically knows details about their life. ‘Someone Unknown’s girlfriend clearly needs some form of therapy and treatment for a clear but unspecified mental health issue.”