I’m in my 60s, never married. I sometimes leave public posts on YouTube Videos, with my opinion about it.
I finished one with, “From Ontario, Canada. God bless.” Days later, I received a reply from a man who seemed nice and said he was a Christian. We started to talk.
Soon, I gave him my email address, and this became a twice-daily ritual. I was relaxed and comfortable chatting with him. He said he wanted to be more than friends.
He asked to exchange photos and sent me one. He was very handsome and told me he was 58.
Next, he sent me a Steve Holy music video, “Good Morning Beautiful.” He had me hooked.
The chats continued and I learned that he was a widower and worked overseas on contract from the United States.
The time difference made it exhausting. I planned my whole day around his calls.
He emailed red roses, said he missed me, loved me and called me “honey.”
Then, the day came: He wanted me to send a $500 wire transfer to his secretary so she could make a business transaction, and he could get paid.
I rationalized: Even if it’s a scam, he’d worked so hard for three weeks, he deserved something.
My bank hesitated, but I assured them this was my responsibility.
Days later, he wanted $500US not CAD... another $200. How could he be so ungrateful? I answered, “That’s it, buddy.”
He tried charm again with a loving video. I said, “I don’t believe you anymore.”
That’s the last I’ve heard from him. I cried. No one’s been allowed this close in a long time.
What now? Practice what I preach, I guess.
Hurt by Scammer
If what you’ve always preached was, “never trust anyone you haven’t met in person,” you were mostly right.
But don’t be too hard on yourself. He worked his pitch very well, even professing “love,” before he delivered the tell-tale “ask” for money.
Thousands who’ve been scammed online, men and women alike, will say that you got off fairly “cheap” at $700. Some of the schemes have been in the many thousands of dollars!
The main lesson? Trust your own intelligence.
The minute a person who knows you only through recent emails starts declaring “love,” he/she is either extremely needy, possibly dangerous, or has a practiced routine for scamming good-hearted people like you for money.
You’re much wiser now.
Reader’s Commentary Regarding my letter about my thinking I’d found a future partner online (December 8):
Reader – “Ever since my long-distance relationship with another woman, I changed my approach to finding a new life partner.
“I realize that it’s likely better for me to have friendships with ladies who have common values and enjoy conversation and fun outings.
“The fine lady that I’d met on the dating site continues to communicate with me as a friend, long distance.
“We hope to meet after COVID-19 is under control. We’ve come to know each other well, after three months of email. It’s a long shot that we’ll ever be more than friends.
“Now I have another opportunity with another new lady friend, for walking and talking. I plan to share our interests and past relationships, before meeting in person.
“This may seem too cautious an approach. But I once fell for an attractive, intelligent, caring woman, whom I didn’t really know.
“We lived together for 465 days and when she left, it was painful.”
FEEDBACK Regarding grandchildren who don’t express thanks for gifts (December 8):
Reader – “After several attempts to get a thank-you, we “grans” took action:
- We wrote the parents outlining our concerns and stating our next steps.
- We set up a bank account for the grandkids, with us as account administrators.
- For each special event (birthdays, Christmas, etc.) we deposit an amount, notify the grandkid and state the total in the account.
“Our goal - to provide some future assistance as our attempts to provide for the present weren’t acknowledged.
“We’ll use the money to provide for class trips and other educational endeavours. This would allow for the grandkids to benefit while allowing us to by-pass their negligent parents…. some raised to know better.”
Ellie - Also, if the grandchild is an older teen, send zero money or article - he/she obviously doesn't care. Don't stress yourself about this lapse in their development.
Tip of the day:
When an unmet online dater professes early “love,” steel yourself for the “ask” of money and/or private security information.