While running an errand today, I witnessed a very negative interaction. A woman had come into the store where I was seeking assistance and was approached by a member of the store. They were directly beside me, so I overheard everything, as did the associate helping me.

As the associate was asking the woman how she could be helped, the woman started to spew vitriol, claiming that everything about the store was terrible. That the way they run their business is terrible, the way they treat customers is terrible, even standing right there where she was standing was terrible.

And to be clear, she didn’t use the word terrible. The sales associate was very polite and very calm and walked the woman over to an area where she could sit and be helped privately.

I turned to the person helping me and asked if that happens often. He said, no, but sometimes. I felt terrible for the person who had to be on the receiving end of that. Should I have said something?

Rude Dude

That depends. If the customer was being excessively rude, you could have turned around and said something to the effect of, “Hey, these people are simply doing their job. Show some respect. And if you don’t like it, go somewhere else.” But you would have then had to engage in conversation with this clearly unhappy and angry person.

Or, you could have found the associate who suffered the rudeness and said something like, “I witnessed that person verbally attacking you. I’m sorry you had to be on the receiving end of that. You don’t deserve that.” I am certain that would have made that person feel even slightly better, to know that someone cares, and not everyone is a jerk.

My girlfriend is a dental hygienist. When she comes home at the end of the day, she truly leaves her job at the door. She doesn’t think about anything pertaining to work. She doesn’t have to.

I have just started my own consulting firm and have taken on multiple clients to grow the business quickly so I can then hire more consultants. I have an office and try to stop work at the end of the day. But I am often on deadline and need to sit back down after dinner for a few hours. I am strongly aware that this isn’t fair to my girlfriend, so I make a point of not working weekends, or more than one or two nights in the week.

Lately, my girlfriend has started to pick fights with me on the nights I am the most stressed and pressured for a deadline. Twice we have had huge blowups because I don’t have the bandwidth to deal with her calmly AND focus on my work. And twice more, it was so bad, I had to go to the office where I worked all night and slept on the couch.

How can I get her to respect my work and my timing? I have NEVER walked into her office demanding anything from her.

Ultimate Disrespect

She is behaving like a needy toddler. Bothering you during your stressful hours is disrespectful, immature and unkind. You two need to have a big sit-down, on the weekend when neither of you are working or stressed. Respect and boundaries are the foundations to any good relationship. Without those it’s mayhem and chaos.

If she cannot see your point of view, you two might benefit from discussing this with a third party, like a relationship counsellor. If she still can’t see why this is a problem, she may not be the right partner for you.

FEEDBACK Regarding pet loss (Feb. 17; April 8):
Reader – “The comment that ‘the best remedy for grief over losing a pet is getting another pet’ is not always the case.  There are some people who experience ‘pet fatigue,’ where they decide after owning pets for years that they will have no more after the passing of the last one(s).  This can be for various reasons, including not wanting to feel such loss again, and/or also wanting to travel without having to worry about boarding or pet-sitting while they’re away; or they don't feel they can adequately care for a pet anymore, especially if they’re getting older.”

FEEDBACK Regarding lipstick hoarding aunt (April 9):

Reader – “There is such a thing as a ‘makeup junkie.’ I know, because I am one!  The aunt probably adores the shade of lipstick and in case the colour is discontinued, she has stockpiled her fave ‘lippie.’ She’s not hurting anyone. Let her be!”