I met a woman when I came home from my third year at university a few months ago. We met through friends at a concert and had a great night, as a group. I was attracted to her and felt a chemistry, but didn’t want to come off as desperate, since I had literally just returned home and was focused on finding a spring/summer job.

A week or so later, we met up again at another group event, and it became clear to me that she was also feeling  the chemistry. I asked around, confirmed she was single, and asked her out on a date. She seemed like a fun person, so I took her down to the island for a bike ride, a walk on the beach, some food and live music. The night was perfect!

Our romance took off, and we started spending a lot of time together. Our kissing was super sexy, and a total turn-on; and our foreplay was awesome. But each time we’ve tried to have full intimacy, she fakes having an orgasm with me.

I didn’t say anything the first few times because I didn’t want to embarrass her, but then I realized I had to. So, I brought it up in conversation and now she won’t talk to me!

I just want to satisfy her. What did I do wrong?

Fake Orgasm

From your description, it doesn’t sound as though you did anything wrong. You courted this woman, treated her to a fun date, and have seemingly moved slowly in your sexual activity, but not too slowly. But now, when you get to intercourse, there’s a disconnect.

Is it something you’re doing that doesn’t appeal to her? Maybe. Is it something you’re not doing that would help her reach a legit orgasm? Again, maybe. This is something you need to discuss; however, she’s clearly embarrassed and now running away from the situation.

I suggest you go over with flowers, ice cream, a small token that shows you’ve listened to her, are interested in her and want to continue being with her. Go for a walk and hold hands. Stop in a park and kiss. Then express what you hope to give her in your lovemaking sessions, which is, deep satisfaction. You have no other agenda or timeline. Tell her how much you like her and enjoy your time together, both in and out of the bedroom. But you don’t have to engage in anything she’s uncomfortable doing.

Hopefully she’ll open up to you, explain why she fakes her orgasms and be willing to try with your help. Enjoy the journey!

While helping my elderly mother pack for a vacation she was taking with a friend, neither of us could locate a pair of shoes, two purses, a scarf and a necklace. My mother is extremely tidy and organized, even more so now that she is retired. She spends an hour daily going through her drawers, cupboards, throwing things out and giving things away.

But she almost always asks me first, in case I want any of the items. I’m her only living child. She is losing her memory slightly, but I don’t think between us we would forget about all these items, none of which were unwanted.

Could someone have stolen them?

Missing

Yes, of course, the items could have been stolen by anyone who entered your mother’s home, for example, a cleaning person, electrician, any other tradesperson. More than likely, she’s misplaced the items, and they’ll turn up with a deeper search.

I suggest you start taking photos of the items she gives away or sells, and make a list, in case these fall in that category.

FEEDBACK Regarding the birthday dilemma (July 4):

Reader – “Maybe the father is deliberately trying to cause conflict; but the writer needs to relax and get a better perspective. They sound petty and entitled. I’m pretty sure most steak houses have other choices on the menu besides steak, like appetizers and salads. Why not just order some of those and stop whining?

“They should be grateful their father wants to spend time with them, no matter the venue. My own father, who I adored, passed away when I was only 25. I would give anything to have dinner anywhere with him again.”

Reader #2 – “While it certainly is more courteous when taking someone out for their birthday to allow them a say in restaurant choice, in checking the menus of eight steak houses (yes, I did!) everyone had mains other than steak. So, it’s hard to believe that she would be this stressed over it.

“Something more must be going on.”