While at a large family gathering a few weeks ago, to celebrate the 50th anniversary of my aunt and uncle, my mother’s husband drank more than he should have. He was so inebriated that he fell down the stairs, knocking over a plant in his wake. The plant, in turn, scratched a painting that my aunt and uncle received as a wedding present all those years ago.
No one was as annoyed at my mother’s husband as I thought they would be, but I am so embarrassed for him. And now my cousin has informed me that the painting is going to cost several thousand dollars to repair. I think my mother’s husband should, at the very least, offer to pay for it. But I know my aunt and uncle won’t ask him.
Should I talk to my mother about this?
Family Issues
It’s not your painting, and you weren’t the one who caused the damage. So, I don’t think you should get involved. You could talk about the situation privately with your mother and tell her how you feel. But to what end? I have no doubt she’s also embarrassed by her husband’s behaviour. If he doesn’t have the wherewithal to offer to pay for the damage he caused, that’s a reflection on him, and not on you. Perhaps your mother could offer to loan him the money, if finances are an issue. But again, I really don’t think you should get involved.
I want to break up with my boyfriend, but I don’t know how. He’s just switched roles at his place of work and they have him travelling every two weeks for several days. He’s always exhausted and can’t seem to settle into a routine. I never feel like the time is right to tell him that I want to walk away. And he’s so tired, I don’t think he’s noticing the signs I’m trying to give off.
Last time he returned home he called me to say he was leaving the airport and would be home in 20 minutes. I told him I was at work and would come over when I was done. But I was totally lying because it was Sunday and I don’t work on Sundays. He said OK and hung up. He didn’t call me until lunch on Monday when he asked why I didn’t come over. But before I could even respond, he said he had to go and could we have dinner together.
I just want out of this relationship. I feel like I’m dating a ghost.
Done
You’re not being very kind to your boyfriend. It sounds as though he’s burning the candle at both ends and can barely keep his head above water. Do the right thing and have a talk with him. Tell him how you feel. Tell him that this relationship is no longer working for you. You can blame it on his work; you can blame it on his schedule; you can blame it on anything you want. Just don’t keep stringing him along. You both deserve better.
FEEDBACK Regarding the friend who keeps reinventing herself (Feb. 26):
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Anonymous
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