Christmas in my family is yet another occasion for me to face all the same questions since I was still in my 20s: “When are you going to find a husband?”
I’m 34 now, and while Covid was a good excuse for not meeting up with strangers, my family’s pushing me harder to date... anyone!
Their problem for them - not mine - is that I won’t join dating apps.
I still believe in the organic way of meeting someone, e.g., at a friend’s house, if everyone’s double-vaxxed. I’m not taking chances with my health; let alone with meeting people I know nothing about.
Unfortunately, my mother, aunt, and cousins, say I’m “wasting (my) best years!” As if I’ll look a mess in another year.
I’d love to meet a great guy who’s active and outdoorsy like me. Especially if he keeps fit for the right reasons - strength from muscle mass, flexibility for fitness, cardio for endurance.
I’ve followed those routines for years, because they make me feel strong and confident.
I’m never down in the dumps because I don’t have a boyfriend. Sure, I’d love to meet someone, but it has to happen naturally... maybe on a hike, or maybe just when our eyes meet across a room. I’d have no trouble going up and saying, “hello.”
But I won’t take a chance with “liking” someone based only on a photo and a hyped-up profile. Most of them sound superficial and trying-too-hard for my taste.
Still Single but Happily Fit
You’re true to your healthy routine, but not to your emotional self. You avoid dating apps, hope to meet someone “organically,” but do nothing to help that happen.
Yet, it’d be natural for you to join a regular hiking group. Or a fitness class (on ZOOM, if necessary). You may not meet Mr. Right immediately, but there’s more chance of meeting a sister/friend/colleague of a “potential” date, if you give openness a try.
Rely on your self-confidence regarding your physical health and take a chance on meeting someone worth knowing, who’s recommended or hiking beside you.
FEEDBACK Regarding the issue of a peanut allergy (November 29):
“The mother's feeling that she couldn't love/respect her husband if he didn't support her handling of the sister-in-law, shocked me!
“He’s described as such a good person and husband yet one thing put him on a slippery slope!
“He’s handling it normally. You can't allow people to control your peace of mind. They’re not going to change. The daughter’s an adult now and handling her own life.
“We all have people who drive us a bit crazy because we keep letting them push our buttons.
“This woman’s lucky with things as they are. She probably doesn’t see these people often.”
Reader’s Commentary Regarding the woman who felt that her long-time male friend didn’t have the sexual goods to excite her (November 30):
“A man’s opinion: It’s not what you have, it’s what you do with it. She needs to more fully understand her own anatomy.
“Most nerve endings are in the first few inches of a woman’s vagina. Anything further is a waste. Her “problem” is in the part above her shoulders.
“The same applies to a woman’s breasts. Anything larger than a handful is a waste.
“If she really “needs” a larger penis to excite her, she could get involved in the porn industry. Research has shown that these men are generally “above average in size.”
“Meanwhile, this “friendship” is over.”
My friend since high school passed away a few years ago. She’d introduced me to her friend, but then had a falling out with her.
I later bumped into her friend and we had a lot in common. Now we’ve become friends.
But I feel somewhat awkward with her. I know what the falling out was about but have never mentioned it to her.
Also, she’s quite assertive and I’m sure she’ll pounce on me one day.
I’ve only heard my late friend’s side of the story - their disagreement sounded pretty bizarre. How should I handle this new person? I like her but she’s somewhat scary.
We all have different sides to our personalities, so you shouldn’t be surprised at the same mix of reactions from others.
Also, the past falling out only reflected what was between those two.
Enjoy whatever aspect of this friendship works between you. Avoid any hint of a pitfall.
Tip of the day:
Try meeting potential dates “organically” by joining outdoor group activities you enjoy.