I had a medical issue and visited my doctor. She sent a referral to a dermatologist, which took several months. That doctor told me that my issue was purely cosmetic and required surgery to remove, for a hefty sum of money.

I’m not that bothered. I was more worried it was something problematic. Once I knew it wasn’t, I opted to live with it.

This was a few months ago. Recently, I noticed my issue was clearing up. I watched for a week, doing nothing differently than I’d been doing for years, and after a week, it was completely gone!

How can a doctor tell me that the only way to get rid of something is through voluntary and expensive surgery? When in fact, time would heal itself.

Non-believer

That’s frustrating, for sure. They are professional doctors who have spent years learning and training. But they’re not perfect. No one is.

You could go back to your derm and show him how the issue has cleared up. Then ask if his diagnosis has changed since it healed on its own. Don’t be angry; just be grateful you didn’t spend the money on the unnecessary surgery.

True story: my brother started dating a woman several months ago. He told me about her because he really liked her. He hasn’t had great luck with women and felt strongly for this one quickly. I hadn’t met her or even saw a photo.

About a month after they met, I was out with friends and started clicking with a woman. We chatted all night, danced and ended the night with a kiss. We started messaging, met up a few times and I was really getting into her. Meanwhile, my brother was falling deeper in love with the woman he was dating.

Maybe two months later, I was out partying with friends and this girl, and my brother walked into the club. He saw me kissing my girl, walked straight up to me and punched me! My girl screamed, not knowing he was my brother, and the bouncers came and ejected him from the club. I went outside to see what his problem was, but he was gone. I called, texted, messaged, but he didn’t respond.

The next day, I found him at home, and he was hysterical! Said I was the worst brother ever, that he’d broken up with his lying, cheating girlfriend and he hated both of us. I didn’t understand at all what he was talking about, and he came at me again. I left. Later that night, my girlfriend started telling me how her sister just got dumped by this guy who she was really into, and how she has no idea what happened, etc. I told her what happened with my brother and then the two of us looked at each other.

I said, “what’s your sister’s name and what’s her boyfriend’s name?” Yup, you guessed it! Her sister and my brother are together! And the sisters look so much alike, in every way, though they’re not twins, that in a dark club, it’s not surprising my brother thought I was with HIS GIRLFRIEND!

We got together with her, my girlfriend’s sister, and explained everything. We see the humour, but my brother won’t speak to any of us to hear the truth. What do we do?

Twins Not Twins

That is a crazy story! Since your brother isn’t willing to speak with you or his girlfriend, the two of you are just going to have to ambush him. I mean that gently. You know his schedule. Find him at a time and place where he can’t run. Start by apologizing for any misinterpretation. Have his girlfriend with you, so she can do the same. Then introduce him to her sister, a.k.a. your girlfriend.

He needs to see it to believe it. I’m sure he’ll be shocked, but he should get over it.

FEEDBACK Regarding the confused mom (Feb. 10):

Reader – “By her own admission she has asked her unmarried daughter ‘countless’ times whether she’s gay or non-binary.  That doesn’t make her wonderful — just annoying.  It is ridiculous to assume unattached people must be something other than straight.  And to harp on it is rude and insensitive.  Every time she inquiries about her daughter’s sexuality she is asking, in effect, ‘What’s wrong with you? Why aren’t you normal?’

“That she’s willing to accept other sexual orientations is probably a significant step forward for her, but she also needs to accept the fact that not everyone needs or wants to be in a sexual relationship and that it’s probably time for her to quit her intrusive nagging.”