I have joint custody of my son, 9.
It’s taken three years to settle from the split, and create a happy life again, including a wonderful girlfriend. Now, she wants to have a child and I fear it’ll upset everything.
How do I convince her that what we have is already perfect?

- Frustrated

“Perfect” for you, and not her, is no partnership.
Your bliss will soon be tarnished anyway, as this woman realizes that you negate her dreams and control her future. She’ll leave.
Or, you could discuss ways to bring a child into your life as comfortably as possible.

I’m a gay male, 19, living with my single mother.
My sexuality has led to numerous fights between us, I’ve even had to stay in a shelter.
Her friend said Mom revealed she doesn’t like me going on dates with men while being sexually active with men.
I still have a curfew, and have to report to her while I’m at work or out with friends.
I start college soon and fear the impact her attitude will have on me emotionally, and on my education.
How can I make my mom accept me for who I am while still living under her roof?

- Difficult Home Life

There’s hope for your relationship with Mom, which I’m sure is what you both want.
SHE is greatly in need of real information about sexuality issues; YOU need to reassure her about your safety and well-being.
You can be true to your sexuality without constantly testing her acceptance level. Talk to Mom; tell her about PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), an organization where she can find resources, and support groups locally, to help her understand and come to terms with your sexuality.
Enlist her friend’s help to encourage her to attend a PFLAG meeting.
You, in turn, need to understand that all mothers of teenagers worry; that single moms feel even more responsibility about any risks their near-adult kids face. And, that you need to assure her that you’re responsible and self-protective.
Stop fighting and start communicating.

My dear sister and my best friend were jealous in the past over time spent with me. I’m loyal to both.
My friend has a sharp tongue, my sister a soft manner.
We’re all vacationing nearby. I emailed an invitation to a BBQ with both their families plus more friends. My best friend pretends the invitation was never extended and hasn’t replied.
We’re all adults now, yet she seems unwilling to settle with my sister. I’m hurt.
Should I pretend I never offered the invitation? Or ask what the problem is, and why she cannot come to something my sister will be at?
They haven’t seen each other in four years but do ask about each other.

- In the middle

It IS possible that she missed your email, so ask first (in person or on the phone) and invite her again if she claims ignorance. If she refuses to attend, talk directly about the issue; otherwise, similar situations may arise while you’re all nearby.
Tell your friend you’ve done your best to be loyal to both of them, but you don’t intend to play high-school games. If she can’t be in your sister’s presence at a group gathering, to please you, then her loyalty to you is at question.
Note this: If she ever puts you in a position to make a choice, she’s too self-absorbed and self-righteous to be a true friend.

My teenage friend and I joined a summer volleyball team; I soon felt the coach looks perverted. He keeps touching girls and looking at them.
Once he touched my friend’s butt. I’m very scared. My friend had one nightmare about him raping her, me too.
What can I do? Should he get fired?

- Frightened

Focus on real evidence, not on what he “looks like” or your nightmares.
If he’s touched girls inappropriately, ask those girls to write down accurately what happened, and when. Take the list of reports to your parents so they can go to the program supervisor, or higher up, with the information.
This is a serious possibility of abuse, and needs a thorough, professional investigation.
Meanwhile, until you know the findings, realize that it’s possible that he touched by accident or while demonstrating the sport. You can either avoid the coach, or drop out of the program.