My girlfriend of two years and I had a close circle of friends and their partners, and went on frequent group dates.
I vacationed with some male friends and ended up with another girl one night. It was a mistake that I greatly regret.
It got back to my girlfriend; initially, I denied everything, but the next day I came clean, said how much I love her and want to be with only her. She broke up with me.
I sent flowers, wrote e-mails; she angrily told me to stop, she needs her space for maybe two months.
What can I do to prove to her I’m a new person worth trusting and being with?

- Needing Help

Wake up and recognize you not only made one “mistake;” you also humiliated your girlfriend. In such a close circle, everyone would know.
You need to resolve this with your group, as well as your ex. Admit to as many as possible how wrong you were. Ask them to forgive you… because you can bet some of the girlfriends have put their guys on closer watch.
Let your ex know that you realize how hurt and embarrassed she is and you’re trying to make it up to her.
Don’t pressure her… but try to make contact every couple of weeks.

If my mother-in-law (MIL) finds anything you do even remotely disrespectful (like saying that some advice she offered isn’t something you’ll follow, but thanks anyway) she’ll verbally hurt you.
Her entire family walks on eggshells; her husband often lies to her face to avoid an issue. The family considers that whoever makes waves is the problem.
My husband and I have been working on how we deal with conflict; he can now discuss things without shutting down or inferring insults.
Through therapy, I’ve learned to handle conflict respectfully, and to be assertive, not aggressive. But, to deal with my MIL, I have to stretch the truth, and blame others, e.g. saying a doctor said she should no longer feed my one-year-old pureed food (he’s an underweight preemie who needs a special high-fat, high-calorie diet, and he can chew).
And because I’m not allowed to confront her, I’m still angry about things that happened two years ago, on our wedding! I can’t forgive her because she purposefully hurts others and me.
Her husband can be just as bad; he’ll talk about you behind your back.
I can’t change my in-laws; I can only change me.
Their stunts include screaming at me in my kitchen, that I didn’t care about my husband or son because I wouldn’t put my son on a feeding schedule they advised. I have to see them every week.

- Sick of It

Like you said, it’s you who has to change your reaction, and you’re only part way there.
Stewing over the wedding is a waste of energy – you need that inner strength to raise your child in the way you find is best for him, and to get along with your husband. Become a closer team; when you get child-rearing orders from in-laws, say that you’ll discuss it with your Hubby and your doctor… and do so.
Not every suggestion is necessarily wrong, and it’s natural for grandparents to be concerned/interested. Continue with your therapy, since the in-law relationship will continue too, and you’ll do well to learn more strategies over time.
Occasionally, skip an encounter to regain some calm and confidence – Hubby can take the child to visit at their place sometimes.

I’m estranged from my adult son and daughter; both are medical professionals with busy lives. They were in university when my ex left 10 years ago (when she said she didn’t love me for years, I had an affair); since then, I’ve had no contact despite my cards and congratulations.
How can I achieve some relationship? I love my children. My son says he forgives me but won’t see me now or in the future. Perhaps his wife’s still mad at me for calling her a name 13 years ago.

- Losing Hope

Send each child and your daughter-in-law a note, plus an email, of apology… apologize for the name-calling (totally inappropriate); apologize for the marital break-up (your affair contributed to it); apologize for the loss of contact (blame yourself, it’ll disarm them).
Express your sincere desire for contact, minimal at first, and don’t push. If nothing changes, try again in six months.