Three years ago our distraught son admitted his older cousin had sexually molested him from childhood through teenage. Therapy ensued.
At 25, he’s bright, successful and joined our family business.
The perpetrator, now 29, also works there and has a history of violence and anger. One day, he threatened to kill my son the next time he did “anything like that again.”
There was always a huge size difference.
My son wanted to get a police restraining order against his cousin. The therapist advised not to talk to the cousin about the past abuse until he felt ready (we’d previously told his parents).
My husband wanted to fire the cousin.
A family meeting was held, the cousin denied the abuse or had no memory of it, and said the uttering of a death threat was only a joke. His father said the earlier incidents were experimentation, not abuse.
This cousin had constantly bullied all my children and was left unchecked by his family.
My husband doesn’t want to destroy his close-knit family or the business partnership with his brother.
My son might return to work, not directly involved with the cousin. I’m worried about his emotional health down the line.
I’d alienate my husband by not attending family parties any more, yet I want to support my son, who’s starting therapy again.

- Stressed Out

Support your son through respecting his adulthood, and his decision on how to handle the situation - not by your retreating from the family. That only gives the example of avoidance.
You might also ask if you can talk to his therapist – with him - about what he wants your role to be.
BOTH parents need to stand by him, and look at all the options that he wants to consider.
Perhaps it’s time for the family business to split into separate operations and/or locales. Or what happens when both fathers want these two sons to take over?
Perhaps your son would have an equally fine career in another business altogether.
By burying the conflict, you leave the door open for future eruptions.

I’m 52, working since age 10. I finished my university accounting degree (financed by my employer) while working full-time. After 25 years, I’d saved $400,000.
Two years ago, I found a very good job in the Middle East and tripled my savings. I’m mortgage- and debt-free and want to retire, keeping my savings in secure bank notes.
My wife, 41, has her own company and some income; we’re insured through her (including children, 18 and 12).
She hasn’t mentioned my plan. I could still generate a lot of money if I continue working.
Is my plan for retirement ridiculous?

- Unsure

Doing the math is only one side of this decision: Be sure to consider the added costs of helping your children through their education years, the possibility of your wife’s business failing and/or her needing to stop work, and the effects of inflation on savings invested at low interest.
Now for the emotional side: Clearly, you desire a break from constant work, and should be able to take one. But early retirement affects a whole family; you should be discussing this fully with your wife.
Perhaps a year’s sabbatical is the boost you seek – e.g. family travel, study of something very different, etc.
Later, since you don’t need to work to just survive, you can work to enjoy plus earn, by changing your pace, adding volunteerism, and other interests.

My live-in partner of four years, and I, are middle-aged. He regularly consumes 7 beers plus a mixed drink or two, two more back home.
He’s not sexually interested in me when he drinks.
Recently, he confessed he’s bored with the relationship but not seeing anyone else. He became distant.
I’ve moved into another bedroom. He knows he’s been drinking too much. But I see him as someone who doesn’t love me anymore.
I’d suggested a three-month trial separation to try to regain my self-esteem and reduce my dependence on him.

- Rejected but not Hopeless

Time apart is a good idea IF you insist that he uses it to confront his drinking problem – Alcoholics’ Anonymous is a proven route; or, he should at least start with a health check and reduced drinking. Otherwise, you’ll end up returning to the same, negative situation.
Best to also develop supports toward a permanent split.