My boyfriend and I were together for two years in high school. As our last year was winding down, we agreed that we would end our relationship the day after the last graduation party. With that expiry date, we were able to really have fun and not let anything get too serious.

We had a tearful goodbye and went our separate ways for the summer. He spent the summer up north, working at a restaurant and staying at his grandmother’s cottage so she wouldn’t be there alone. I went to Greece with my grandmother, to see family and friends, and help her pack up her house over there. My boyfriend and I agreed that it would be too hard on so many levels to speak – so we didn’t.

In September, we went to different universities, and I had a great year. Unfortunately, he didn’t. He chose the wrong school for his program, and it wasn’t a fit socially either. Unbeknownst to me, he decided to switch to my university for second year. About a week ago, he reached out to me. I’m in the city this summer, working for my uncle, in my area of study. He’s back up north, living with his grandmother, and working.

We spoke on the phone, and it was so fun and easy. No weirdness. We agreed to go out for dinner so he could ask me anything and everything about school. We had the best time ever. At the end of the night, when we were saying goodbye, we lightly kissed. But the electricity was intense.

We made a plan for the following week, and I am so excited. But nervous. How do I play this?

Rekindling

Just take it slow…. it’s easy to fall back into a pattern, good or bad. In your case, you had a great relationship, easy, lighthearted. Automatically kissing at the end of the night was simply falling back into a pattern.

You didn’t mention either of you having any relationships between your breakup and now. If you’re both single, there’s no reason for you NOT to start dating again, if it’s what you both want. However, you’ve both grown and you may not be exactly who you were when you were last together.

I’m just saying, don’t get back together simply because you’re standing in front of each other. Date first to see if, besides the chemistry, you two are a good fit at this stage in your lives.

I am 23 years old and have been friends with this girl for half my life. She’s fun and sweet and we get along great. Her only downfall is that she is keen to always be IN with the popular crowd. Recently, she has started hanging out with a woman who is completely toxic. She has made her way through bestie after bestie, and her reputation precedes her.

It doesn’t faze me that probably several months will go by where my friend ghosts me, dumping me for this person. She’s done it before and to be honest, I don’t care. I have my friend group.

But I’m worried that my friend is going to get caught up, chewed up and spit out. And I don’t want her to get hurt. How can I help her see what’s so clear to me?

Toxic Friends

You can’t. She has to go through it to see for herself. You can talk a blue streak, but she won’t hear you. You’re a good person for caring about someone who repeatedly dumps you for the “cool kids.” But I hear that you really care about this friend. The only thing you can do is be there to catch her when she falls.

FEEDBACK Regarding practically naked (May 5):

Reader – “I have issue with your comment to Practically Naked when you said the daughter should be aware that she is ‘attracting attention and take precautions for own safety.’

Long gone are the days when women were blamed for dressing in a certain way to cause a sexual assault which I assume you are referring to.

“Leggings and bare midriff tops are in style. Everyone wears leggings.”

Reader #2 – “I appreciated that you stated that her daughter’s clothing choices are her own. However, we need to stop telling women that they need to stop drawing attention to themselves (through what they’re wearing) as a precaution for their safety. Assaults do not happen based on what someone is wearing. Assaults or harassment happen by people who are harassers or assaulters.

“I hope the message is clear… we need to focus on harassment/assault/abuse as the problem, not the victims.”