While grocery shopping the other day, I saw a well-dressed woman in line at the self-serve checkout. She had a baby in a car carrier and a toddler sitting in the cart. The baby was asleep, but the toddler was chatting away.

I had seen them earlier in the refrigeration aisle, and I had watched on as the mom lovingly gave her child a drinking yogurt. I also saw the child eating watermelon pieces out of one of the pre-cut containers.

As a mom myself, I remembered those days and thought it was sweet that nothing changes. But when I saw her at check out, I watched as she surreptitiously tucked a bag of dried mango behind her sleeping baby’s back and put some type of snack bar box in her child’s backpack. Her movements were quick and she looked uneasy.

I can’t prove anything, but it looked to me as though she was stealing some of her items. Should I have said something to her?

Sneaky Mom

You could have proven whether she had paid for those items by checking her bill. I’m not suggesting you should have stopped her and demanded to see it, I’m just saying, it would have been provable. You could have alerted a customer service assosciate, who would check her receipt…. But again, it’s not your business.

Still, I don’t think you should have said anything to her. I don’t condone stealing, obviously, but most people know right from wrong, and choose the wrong for reasons unbeknownst to us.

If it were me, I might have sidled up and discreetly asked if she was OK. And then depending on her response, I may have said something, such as, “If I noticed, others may have too,” and nodded towards the kids. That’s enough. You’re a stranger and have NO IDEA what’s going on in this woman’s life.

My daughter has a friend who comes over to the house all the time. When they were little, she would always ask to take one of my daughter’s toys home with her. It was always the one they had been playing with last before her parents came to pick her up. I’d always ask my daughter if it was OK for her friend to borrow her toy. We would then make a deal that the little girl would bring the toy back the next time she came to play. My daughter would always say yes because she knew that meant her friend was coming back.

Some toys would be returned; others took several visits before we saw them again; and some we’ve never seen again. Years have passed, including a few of COVID, and the girls lost touch. But they recently found each other again when they both started at a new school.

This girl has come over multiple times already and never seems to leave empty-handed. She has borrowed and returned several items of clothing. But she has also borrowed a few that we have yet to get back.

How do we deal this?

Take, take, take

This is such an awful position for you and your daughter to be in. It’s a shame that this little girl’s parents are either completely unaware, or insensitive.

As far as the toys go, you’ll have to let those go. But based on that behaviour, you can enforce a no-lending rule. Assuming you’re the one who has purchased everything your daughter owns, you can still call the shots. And your daughter can save face by “blaming” it on you. Nothing leaves your house in this girl’s hands, even with promises to return.

FEEDBACK Regarding Moms against Motorcycles (Sept. 4):
Reader – “I am also astonished regarding who would want to ride a motorcycle.  Basic physics regarding protection in cars (air bags, seat belts, crumple zones) help protect people in cars but are not there for motorcycles.

“I agree with this mother. But I also have several colleagues who are well into their 70s who have always enjoyed riding motorcycles recreationally.  They are very responsible drivers.

“I share this mother’s concern regarding the numerous ‘idiots’ on the road.  But there are MANY responsible motorcycle riders. Your son sounds like a responsible person.

“I suspect that she has expressed her views and concerns to her son.  So, my advice is to her son:  YOU need to convince your mother that YOU will be the ‘responsible motorcycle user.’”

Lisi – I agree that many riders are responsible. Unfortunately, It’s usually not their fault.