I have a summer job, going door to door, asking people to give money for a good cause. It’s for a local hospital and I wear a vest with the hospital’s name and logo in bold, so people know right away that I’m canvassing for a legit organization.

Everyone said I would be really good at this type of work because I’m bubbly, full of life, outgoing and energetic. But I’m finding it really, really hard. The script we were given – just to get people to open the door more than a crack - is so disingenuous, I cringe as the words come out of my mouth.

If I can even get their attention, I’m then supposed to launch into a script that is so wordy and full of information, that it’s overwhelming. Also, I’m supposed to call ALL women “Miss” to make them feel young, which is ridiculous. And I’m supposed to compliment something – their hair, clothing, flowers, whatever. Again, disingenuous.

I believe in the job I’m doing but not in the process. How can I make this work?

Can’t Canvas

First of all, I commend you on your choice of summer job. It’s hot and you’re outside doing a lot of walking and talking. Plus, you have been and will continue to get a lot of rejection. Even though it’s not personal in any way, it can get to a person after a while. So, good for you for doing this job.

Can you talk to your supervisor? Do you get the vibe from them that they’re approachable? If yes, then ask for a meeting and explain how you feel. Be prepared with other ways to approach people, because your supervisor will most likely ask for that. See what they say.

If you can’t sit down with your supervisor, then take some time and create your own script. Something that feels right, and sincere, to you. Practice it on friends and family and ask for suggestions. Hopefully you’ll be able to fine tune it, get going, and this will all pay off.

I think my girlfriend is cheating on me. I like her a lot, but we haven’t been together that long. We are definitively a heterosexual monogamous couple – or so I thought. We’ve talked about all those things: sexuality, relationship styles, dos and don’ts, what’s acceptable and what’s a deal breaker. So, I don’t understand why she’s cheating on me.

The strange thing is that I’ve asked her, and she’s denied it, of course. I could just break up with her, but I like her. I wish she would just talk to me, be honest with me. I think that’s what’s really upsetting me the most.

Cheaters

I also don’t understand cheating. As I’ve said before – you can fall out of love with your partner; you can fall in love/lust with someone outside of your relationship; just end one before starting the next. Otherwise, too many people get hurt along the way.

I’m going to take your accusation at face value and assume, ONLY because that’s what you’re presenting, that your girlfriend is, in fact, cheating on you. With that in mind, since there’s no deep love between you, you’re not married or have children, just walk away from this woman and this relationship. She’s playing you and you’re standing on your laurels that she’s not being honest. Clearly, she’s not a genuine person if she’s cheating on you! Why would you think she would be earnest and honest? She has no integrity.

You’re just hurting yourself, allowing her to play you even more, by sticking around. You sound like a decent guy. Hold your head high and walk away. You’ve got this.

FEEDBACK Regarding the odd job (May 8):

Reader – “Her boyfriend is still a student, so he has many years ahead of him before practice. Long ago, I had a close friend in medical school who was absolutely determined to become a cardiologist: he read about cardiology, he talked about cardiology and even ‘poached’ our cardiac patients.

“After graduation we lost touch. About 10 years later we met, and he was a practising ophthalmologist who had probably not listened to a heart in years! Ambitions and interests change with learning and experience.

“During my years of practice, I ‘examined’ many patients, male and female and in all their physical areas ensuring their health or diagnosing their illnesses. The only woman I truly ‘looked’ at in a personal, non-professional way was my beloved wife. I believe almost every doctor acts the same way, so I do not think this woman needs to be concerned.”