Our son, who just finished high school, has made poor choices over the past several years and associated with the wrong friends. He expressed a goal to improve his life and distance himself from bad influences.

A younger married friend of ours, age 30, wanted to be a non-judgmental, positive influence. We'd hit a wall trying to influence him, so her support was welcome.

Their friendship started with a sports activity once weekly, then they'd have dinner at our house. Soon she visited numerous times weekly, staying even after we'd gone to sleep.

We worried about it becoming more, but she reassured us that she'd never cross the line. However, we found evidence and confronted the two. She was having an affair with our son. Both stated that they were in love and she'd wait for him to finish school so they could be together.

Since then, we've done our best to restrict the two from seeing one another. We're very uncomfortable when we see her with her husband at mutual social events. She acts as if nothing is wrong. We don't know what to do further, or how.

Fearful of the Future

Your son's likely 18, whereby he's at the age of majority in most jurisdictions, and legally responsible for himself. Despite this, you face a decision reminiscent of that of the biblical King Solomon for a distraught mother - you could "lose" your son, because of your actions, rather than save him.

Yet your protective instinct is to help him see he's being "influenced" again, with a plan that could ultimately be harmful to him.

Restrictions are a way of saying the two can't cheat on her husband through your home and help. But those same restrictions only push them to be sneakier.

Talk to him in a new way. Say that you want to stay connected, and love him. Then ask how he sees the future with her - how they'll live, what he'll do to feel that he's an equal partner, how he expects to deal with finances, her friends, etc. Don't give negative predictions. Ask questions for him to consider, not necessarily answer immediately.

Next conversation, ask what they're doing about her husband... when she's going to tell him, and separate, and deal with this new relationship in a clean, open way. If she has no intention of separating until your son's finished more schooling, ask how he can live with her "being with" two men.

And how he can cheat on her husband.... and feel he's acting like a man.

If your son's unmoved and there's no change, see this woman and ask similar questions.

Tell her how harmful it'll be to your son and their relationship, for him to be gossiped about as the "kid who broke up her marriage." And she'll be disdained as a cheating cougar.

She must avoid this for both their sakes, by taking a break from your son, and separating from her husband.... IF, she's serious and not just having a fling.

Let these approaches settle a short while. But if the two continue as is, the route to consider is going directly to her husband. It's a tough move, because your son may be furious and estrange himself from you for a long time.

So, if they do stop the cheating, and still plan a future, consider whether it's possible that he may grow up and become independent and responsible through her encouragement and support.

Proceed cautiously. He'll hopefully appreciate your intent, eventually.

There's this co-worker who's always at my neighbour's desk and the two are always chatting about non-work-related things.

These two can talk for almost an hour, work for 20 minutes, then start taking again, and repeat. Other co-workers have asked whether it bothers me. It does! Over these three years, I've tried earplugs and music, causing me to miss important phone calls, causing others to jump to get my attention, and even causing ear problems.

Do I have the employee right to complain about this? I'm also afraid of repercussions because the two coworkers are extremely unpleasant people and will most likely make my work life miserable.

Fed Up

Your work life is already miserable! First try for a possible desk change, without specific complaining. If not possible, talk to a manager or human resources official, list the times, lengths and frequencies of "chats," and your concern about unpleasant reprisals.