Santa, can you send me a relationship for Christmas?
Dear Readers - Here’s an edited copy of a letter sent to me, but meant for Santa (no resemblance).
The letter-writer had self-described as female, 34, working full-time and doing volunteer work. “This has made dating quite challenging.”
She then wrote Santa:
“Since I last wrote you, I finished elementary and high school, then got undergraduate and graduate degrees.
“I did volunteer work in Southeast Asia, then some freelance writing about it, and eventually landed a job in the public service.
“I now channel my excess energy into running, volunteering, and adventure travel.
“For Christmas this year, I want lots of snow. Snowshoeing and cross-country skiing are two of the ways I love to spend my weekends.
“The second wish? A date or two that could turn into a long-term relationship.
“Dating sites aren’t working out for me. Though I’ve gone on some nice dates with some interesting men, you, Santa, have a much broader reach than those sites.
“So, maybe you know of someone who’s outdoorsy, kind, loves his Mom (from a healthy distance) and is open to an adventuresome life. It’d be great if he also worked full-time.”
Ellie - Nice try! She included an email address for those who may be interested, but I must repeat what I’ve said before: This column is not a dating or matchmaking service.
All letter-writers are anonymous so they’re free to write about relationship issues and problems without fear of identification.
Still, hats off to this woman for defining her reasons for having difficulties finding the time and right approach for meeting a “full-time relationship” candidate.
To her, I say, you’re more than half-way there.
You know what kind of internal character and spirit that you seek in a partner, and also the interests you hope that he’ll share with you.
So, join any and all of your local “outdoorsy” groups, and travel to join some others, when possible.
You’ll certainly find some like-minded men, and/or women and couples who know such men, and will introduce you to them.
Also, when using any of the dating sites, avoid profile clichés and be as specific about yourself as you were with “Santa.”
I can’t guarantee your Christmas gift but I believe you have the confidence and pro-active approach to make it happen in the not-too-distant future.
I’m 81, my sister’s 79. I’d been close and devoted to her.
She recently phoned to say that she gave a casual friend of ten years her Power of Attorney, sole Executor, and a Living Will stating she’s to be buried at an undecided cemetery.
She included all her personal possessions, plus countless gifts that I’d lovingly purchased for her.
I believe that when her friend realized that my sister, living as a recluse, had no family nearby (my daughter and I live 3,000 miles away) she befriended her to become sole heir.
I have no way to contact this friend, and she’s sought no contact with me.
Should I take action to contest her competency?
I’m not expecting anything should I survive my sister. My doctor and a counsellor both advised no contact for health reasons.
I’m sure I’m not the only senior with this problem.
Sadly, your sister’s not the only such victim, if your belief proves correct.
While a lawsuit may be costly financially and health-wise, get legal advice about what’s involved.
Readers: Any suggestions or similar stories?
It’s that time when, though I’ve stopped drinking to excess at social events, all my good intent gets washed away with the Office Party, the Christmas punch bowl, New Year’s celebrations, and just giving in when back home, exhausted from it all.
Has anyone out there who’s “changed their ways” figured out how to stay in control regarding alcohol, during the long season of rum punch?
It’s never easy to modify/change an addiction-prone habit, whether it’s alcohol, nicotine or drugs.
But if you’ve once risen over the “impossible,” to the “challenging” and reached “achievable,” you know you can do it again.
Even now, so close to the holiday, renew the proud conversation with yourself. Then do whatever it takes:
Leave scenes of predictable over-indulgence as early as possible. Skip the “after-parties” where anything goes.
Remember, this is your well-being, self-image and control of your own choices that’s involved.
Tip of the day:
Pursue your interests and seek like-minded people, and you, not Santa, will find your next relationship.