I am a quiet celebrity in my hometown, the bigger city where I live, and the areas surrounding. I can go out and grocery shop, but someone may stop me and ask if I’m THAT person. I need to check my behaviour, the words that come out of my mouth and my social media presence slightly differently than the average person.

The problem is that my wife is very open and out there and we are going through some marital strife. She has no understanding that my private life is best left private because it could directly – and negatively – affect my public persona. I do not need people asking me how I’m doing because of a post she made about a fight we recently had.

How do I get her to understand that some things are not meant for public review or commentary?

Privacy Please

Tricky. It sounds to me as though your wife knows exactly what will annoy you and she is creating public content purposefully to get your goat. This isn’t going to bode well for a healthy future and a healthy relationship.

I strongly suggest the two of you sit down with a marriage counsellor to understand boundaries, rules of engagement and give each other the opportunity to discuss your grievances with a third-party present so no one walks away, dismisses the other’s issues or loses their cool.

We have always been a double income family, fluctuating between who is bringing in more, but not greatly, and often, on par. We share in the payment of bills, expenses, children’s activities etc. Even during the years that my wife was on mat leave, we created a balance when she returned to work, and I then went on paternal leave.

Most unfortunately, she was recently made redundant at her workplace. Besides the obvious personal kick in the pants, this financial loss has created huge stress between us. I am now carrying the load and it’s a LOT!

I have no doubt that she will be able to find work in her field of expertise, but it won’t happen overnight. And it’s very difficult to make cuts and changes at this time of year, at this time in our family’s life cycle. Not to mention that the price of EVERYTHING has seemingly doubled!

But in the meantime, we are both stressed to the max, fighting and annoyed with each other. I am certain that the children are feeling the ice in the air. How can we maintain our loving relationship amidst all this stress?

DINC no more

Financial stress is one of THE leading causes of divorce today. You’re not alone. The key is not to let external problems become internal problems – which is very hard to do. But the world is full of issues, global all the way down to personal, which can affect anyone. The key is to support each other in your time of need, and there will almost always be a time of need.

Your wife may be feeling the negative effects of losing her job, but tomorrow something could happen that affects you. Be there for each other even when you’re suffering yourself, and especially when the issue affects you both.

Work together, as a team, to overcome, push through and rise above the trials and tribulations of the world and all its intricacies.

FEEDBACK Regarding internal gas (June 6)):
Reader – “Recently, you've had two letters about partners passing foul smelling gas when they sleep. I used to have this especially after eating onions, broccoli or anything sweet. A friend told me about Acidophilus Bifidus for intestinal health, and I haven't had a problem since I started using it. I hope this will help your readers.”

Reader #2 – “Happens for both sexes. Try Beano.”

FEEDBACK Regarding the women who are too drunk (June 14):

Reader – “It appears all the women involved were too drunk. Too drunk for secrets. Too drunk to drive. Too drunk to make good decisions.  If they are old enough to be drinking, to be in a bar, to be engaged, to have affairs, then they’re old enough to drink responsibly.

“In my opinion, drinking too much and causing problems in relationships is part of the problem here.

“I worked serving in bars for 10 years and pouring tastings at a winery for eight years.  Groups of women drinking heavily are just as disgusting as groups of men drinking heavily, and often worse. (I left the business because this degree of drunk seems to have become acceptable).

“Excessive drinking leads to unfortunate consequences. The writer and her friends need to know when too much is too much.”