My mom's best friend from high school has a son my age and so the friends have always joked about the two of us dating, going to Prom, and getting married.

However, my parents moved forty-five minutes away. He and I go to different schools, and have never met. Mom's met him.

Several months ago, I looked him up on Facebook. I thought he was cute and we seemed to have a lot in common, so I was instantly crushing. It became an obsession, and I'm dying to communicate with him, to see if there's any chemistry between us.

Should I "friend-request" him, and say our moms were friends or would he think I'm Facebook-stalking him, and get creeped out?

Too Weird?

You don't know if Cute Guy has a girlfriend (no matter his stated status) or if he's pursued a lot and wary of it.

But you do know that your moms would love to get you together and you don't live far apart.

Tell your mother you'd like to meet him in some casual way.

Otherwise, if you proceed through the "friend" route and he doesn't respond or brushes you off, you've already created a negative impression.

Perhaps Mom can invite his family to a weekend brunch, to "catch up" as old friends. Even if he's not looking to date, at least you'll have met in person.

Over time, you could make casual contact, e.g. email him about something you know he's interested in, and create a friendship that can build.

FEEDBACK Regarding the woman who called herself "a scatterbrain" and whose "rigid" boyfriend is frustrated with her inattention to details (Feb. 1):

Reader - "Five years ago, my then-husband argued with me, punched me in my stomach, and kicked me on the floor until after I lost consciousness.

"When I came to, he was screaming: "Say it, Bitch.... I did not kick you."

"In pain and fear I mumbled, "You didn't kick me." A neighbor took me to the hospital, and even then I believed it was somehow my fault. It took a great therapist for me to start believing in myself, and all the strength I had to leave him.

"My ex was most times insulting, degrading, and yet to others, he seemed almost loving. He believed I was a scatterbrain. I was exhausted, mentally lost. 

"The abuse didn't start that day, it was going on for years, subtly, but manipulating my mind. If I'd given my marriage another year, as you suggested to this woman, you might've heard of me in passing as a newspaper headline: "Woman found dead in her apartment."

"Millions of women, and men, are victims of domestic abuse. I sincerely hope it's not too late for this woman."

I've published this letter so that the original writer - and any other readers with similar relationships that involve rigid attitudes bordering on abuse - can re-think their relationship and seek counselling help.

Even when money's an issue, there are community agencies that provide affordable help, and free shelters providing accommodation for those who need to escape an unsafe situation.

In this case, the woman also spoke of love and emotional/financial support from this man, and made no mention of any physical discomfort or fear.

However, on the possibility she was hinting at it, I urge her to seek any help that can help her raise her

self-esteem and give her strength to either demand his putdowns stop, or to leave him.

FEEDBACK Regarding help for single mothers (Jan. 9 and Feb. 3):

Reader - "KidSport provides funding to families who have financial barriers to participation in organized sport. This includes league registration and equipment purchases.

"We have 23 chapters across Ontario and where we don't have a chapter, families can contact our office directly: [email protected]. Website - www. kidsport.ca. Or contact 416-426-7177. We'd be happy to help."

From the over 100 responses like this which I've received, it's clear that every community has some worthwhile resources to help people who are raising children on very limited funds.

KidSport's financial help so children can participate in healthy activities with other youngsters is an excellent program that can be copied by any sports organization or community centre.

And parents with the ability to pay can organize a collection amount so that their children's sports team, league, or learning clinic, can offer several free spaces.