My parents come to visit us, but they don't know what to talk to us about, and totally ignore us.

We just had a baby girl. I had no relationship with my parents before this. They hardly ever called or came to my home when it was just my wife and I to visit. Now that we have a baby they want to come over all the time.

Uncomfortable

They're trying to establish a new relationship, starting with their granddaughter. If you allow it to develop, grandparent involvement (within reasonable limits) can improve your life and your child's life. Generally, little ones love caring grandparents, as they add an extra layer of caring, approval, and security, all so important to a child's emotional well being.

Because of their desire to be part of the child's life, they can be helpful as back-up baby-sitters when you need them, they have life experience to offer when you're unsure about certain choices for your child, and they'll certainly come to know what to talk to you about.

Clearly, there was a gap in your past relationship with them. But they're trying for a fresh start. Be welcoming, but set your boundaries... they must call before they visit, and should not have their own key to your place until you have stronger trust between you. Give them a chance.

I recently stumbled upon my husband's Facebook account (he was suggested among a couple hundred local people).

He never connected to my account, or to our teenage son's profile. Yet he has his estranged family members, school friends (not seen for 20 years), and former colleagues, including party-going ladies, on his account.

I have an unpleasant feeling about it. I respect his privacy; he has his business network on another social site.

But he apparently intends to communicate by email with all these people mentioned. To me, being on this all-accessible media, it looks like he's making a statement.

Any ideas about this?

Suspicious in Charlotte, North Carolina

I believe you already have your own reasons for your suspicions and are looking for back-up confirmation from me.

However, this is your job, and it starts with asking your husband straight up, how come he's suddenly connecting online with all these people from his past, and not with you and your son?

The reality is that you either trust him or you don't. He may say he doesn't need to be on Facebook with the two people he talks to in person every day (if he truly does). Or that he just got onto the site and was caught up in connecting with all these people, just for catching-up, and not for building whole new relationships with them all.

Listen to his response. If you have no other actual "evidence," drop your suspicions. But if you already know he's untrustworthy, say so.

I met and liked a man from a developing country that's been plunged into dire straits economically and socially. He's gone back to save his family's business and wants me to visit him, because we care for each other. Is there any point?

Unsure

There's a humanitarian point to seeing a "friend" and helping out there for awhile. And drumming up support for his country when you return home.

But there's little point in leading him on as a future partner, if that's what he's seeking, because you already sound unprepared to make that commitment.

My close friend is going through a difficult time in her marriage and talking to me about it all the time. It's bringing me down.

I like her husband, but I'm hearing all kinds of negative things about him. Her stories are all from her side, so I sometimes question her, as it doesn't sound like the guy I know or that she used to praise and love. But she can't take any questioning, she's too stressed out, and starts thinking I'm taking his side.

I'm not. But I don't know how to help her. And I'm upset after every conversation with her.

Overwhelmed

Be supportive by saying you understand how tough all this is for her (not you) and how much you hope things will get better. Recommend strongly that they go to counseling, because, while you care about her, nothing will be resolved by just venting about it.