My Online Chat on "Slut-Dressing" aroused much commentary and debate, (Sept. 7). The term was popularized by last spring's international "Slut Walks," which began in Toronto as a protest to blaming women's choice of dress as a precursor to rape. Some responses:

Is there a difference between trashy and classy? Tight-fitting and/or revealing clothes styled well can be classy, but if everything's laid out for everyone to see, that's trashy/ slutty.

The difference has more to do with the attitude of the beholder than with a see-through blouse. Even "trashy" dressing is a judgement, not a signal that a woman's "asking for it." Studies have dispelled that myth. Rape is a violent crime of power and control, usually involving anger and hate.

Reader - "I was 11 when grown men (strangers) started hitting on me. So, does an 11-year-old deserve to be harassed? Are infants who are molested dressed like sluts? Grandmothers? What is it with all the victim blaming? As long as that attitude prevails, predators aren't held responsible for their own behaviour."

Reader - "In some parts of the world it seems that not covering your hair or legs is considered sluttish."

Reader - "There are women who wear these "slutty" clothes because they like the style or because it makes them feel good to be wearing them. In these cases, it has nothing to do with attention seeking. Not every article of clothing is chosen for the male gaze."

Reader - "Ask a guy for an honest answer as to what he feels about the way you dress."

In relationships, a partner's opinion matters... but not if it's controlling, and unreasonable. It's about comfort zone for both, not about "winning" or "rights."

Reader - "Surely avoiding unwanted sex means taking EVERY precaution, including not going out alone, staying away from dark, quiet areas, and not bringing attention to yourself (so-called "slut" dressing). Maybe hardened rapists don't need a precursor, just opportunity. However, too much drink, along with mixed messages, including the way you dress and act, usually causes date rape. Don't take the chance."

Date Rape IS a different matter: If a woman loses self-control through drinking and/or using drugs, if she's not clear that NO does mean NO, she may put herself at risk of a sexual assault, no matter what she's wearing. BUT, it's still a criminal act. Also, date rape often involves a date-rape drug of which the victim's unaware.

Reader - "It's NOT an invitation to be raped, and a guy has to understand that although it may be an invitation to a rendezvous, you may not be the guy she wants!"

Reader - "Girls and guys can dress the way they want. As long as they know the possible consequences of possibly being approached by a stranger, or building a bad rap about themselves. I for one like looking at girls who dress that way. All guys like short skirts, and major cleavage."

Reader - "Some things are just not appropriate accessories or basic attire - considering time, place, weather, tasks, size/weight."

Reader - "Real "sluts" probably go out in their jeans and sweatshirts as much as anything else."

Reader - "Girls dress suggestively just to get attention, or to attract guys, or find someone to have sex with, or lack of self-confidence, it makes them feel sexy, peer pressure, or they just have no style sense. The problem is many boys or men are attracted by physical appearance only and get the wrong impression."

My friend's daughter, 14, lets her full-blown breasts practically hang out, and is swamped with attention. It makes even grown men uncomfortable.

Her mother says, "flaunt it, while you have it." I believe that's the wrong message. Everyone should wear what he or she wants as long as they understand what signals they're sending out and are equipped to handle the attention. How can I convince her to be more responsible with her clothing choices?

Concerned

You're a far lesser influence than her mother. But you make a worthwhile point - a young teenager is likely NOT ready to handle some reactions.

Raise this gently with her mother: The "flaunt it" line is fine for a woman with confidence and good judgment about how to handle rudeness and more.

But NOT for a girl vulnerable to someone taking advantage of her with a heavy come-on, likely just for bragging rights, or worse, exploitation.