My boyfriend and I, mid-30s, were eating out at a patio dinner recently along with another couple. The other three were enjoying some wine as we waited for our order.
It was the first time since the pandemic that we could get together and our feelings were very upbeat.
Suddenly, it changed for me. Two very attractive women were being ushered to a table nearby. My boyfriend openly ogled them and made an appreciative comment.
The women heard nothing and didn’t notice him. The couple with us merely looked and the man smiled.
But I was hurt and felt humiliated. I looked sharply at my boyfriend, but he brushed it off, with a “What? Nothing’s wrong!”
I know the wine contributed. He’s a good man and we love each other. But after months of not socializing, this chance to enjoy friends’ company suddenly left me feeling empty.
Did I overreact? Is there some way I can explain to my boyfriend why his enthused reaction to these women upset me?
I’ve had no reason throughout our six years together, to feel insecure about him or our relationship.
Was It Him/Me or the Wine?
I’m going with the wine... and the exuberance of socializing again with good friends.
His reaction to the women’s entrance does sound over-the-top, but it was more a foolish release of high spirits.
I say, move on from this one incident. He noticed your hurt reaction. That’s enough of a message for someone who’s been a loving partner for six years.
I’d like to host our extended family dinner this year. My sisters, spouses and I, in our 60s, are all vaccinated. So are my son and daughter, in their 30s.
My daughter’s spouse and toddler son are not. My sister’s two children in their 30s are not.
Can This Work Safely?
Vexxed with Vaccs
Welcome to the social conundrum of COVID-19.
You can offer your best ideas, but there’s no guarantee they’ll work or satisfy all, unless everyone recognizes the different beliefs/fears/suspicions driving the others’ decisions.
From my reading of Covid-related news (which can change over time), if those in their 60’s don’t have compromised health issues, and have been doubly vaccinated, they’re fairly safe from experiencing serious illness even if they’re exposed.
However, to be certain of having no worries at all, you’d have to adjust your plans to host everyone.
Regarding the guest list: Babies aren’t being vaccinated, so no problem.
If you know and can accept the child’s father’s reasons for his avoiding the jab, discuss with him how everyone can still feel fully safe if he may’ve been exposed to the virus and hasn’t yet been tested.
Try the same approach with your sister’s two unvaccinated adult children.
State that you won’t enter an argument about either the merits or wrongheadedness of getting vaccinated. That ship has left the port.
What matters to you is finding a solution for this particular occasion. Example: If the unvaccinated all bring their own recently negative test results, that small effort may make the others more comfortable.
Also, you can set two tables spaced apart and ask for co-operation staying in two “bubbles.” Or, if the weather’s fine, and you have a backyard, you can hold the dinner outside with guests somewhat distanced.
However, having two “camps” of attitudes, may deepen their divide.
So, if serious doubts persist, blame it on the pandemic, forget the whole plan and hope getting together’s possible in the future.
I was widowed three years ago. I recently tried three dating sites. I know many friends who’ve had great success. My daughter has been happy for 11 years with her husband whom she met on a dating site.
I’m looking for a partner who also dances, as I’d started learning Social Ballroom with my husband. I’ve continued dancing - good for my physical wellness and mental health. I dance with a circle of like-minded friends but often sit out now for lack of single male dancers.
I’m not finding any matches. I’m interested in the type of dance where the man leads - Waltz, Foxtrot, Jive, Salsa.
I’ve found some singles’ groups but don't know if they’re real or safe dating sites.
How do I Check Credibility?
ISO Dance Partner
I just went online seeking “dating sites for dancing singles.” There were several. I won’t promote them, but you can easily check them online, ask questions, attend with a friend for reassurance.
Tip of the day:
Even loving partners make foolish mistakes. Explain the hurt, then make peace.