My wife has always been a creative person. She studied for a career that is known to be lucrative where she could also utilize her creativity. She was very successful for years before we had children.

Once our children were born, she stopped working for a few years, and raised them as a stay-at-home mom. When they were both in school full time, she went back to her career on a part-time basis.

I was fine with all of the above, both from a child-rearing point of view, and from our financial perspective. As the children got older, I thought my wife would start to work more. Instead, she started a creative hobby.

Again, I was happy for her, and didn’t foresee any problems. However, over the past few years (and yes, that includes the COVID years), my wife is shifting her focus to her hobby, spending more and more time on it, and spending more and more money. At the same time, she is working less at her career (and thus making less money).

Financially, this has become a losing situation. How do I point out to my wife that though her happiness is important to me, so is being able to afford the lifestyle to which she is accustomed, including the children?

Rich Dad, Poor Man

Whatever your wife’s hobby, show some interest and support. As a creative person, she’s probably visual. Perhaps it would be helpful if you make a chart so she can actually see your financial situation. Explain clearly that you are not asking her to stop doing what she loves; you are only asking her to balance it with some form of income producing activity.

Sit down together and try to come up with a way to parlay her hobby into some form of money-maker, if that’s at all possible. I think if you come at it positively and showing support, she’ll feel understood, heard and appreciated. It’s worth a try.

My husband and I moved to Canada from another country where we felt oppressed. We arrived with our two children, found our community, enrolled the kids in a school that aligned with our beliefs and started our new lives.

Fast forward two years and we got caught in COVID hell, like everyone else, but we were far from family and our old, lifelong friends. We felt isolated and alone. Thankfully, as the world returned to what we considered normal, we were able to continue living and growing in our new country.

Fast forward again, and we are now feeling oppressed here. We fear for our children’s safety both at school and in the community at large. Part of it is our heritage, part of it is our religion, and part of it is our lifestyle.

Where can we go to live in peace, and raise our children in a safe environment?

World Wary

That’s the question on many people’s minds these days. We are only a few weeks into this new year, and Toronto has already seen several violent murders. Car theft and home invasion is rampant, as is porch thievery. There are protests almost daily, vandalism, altercations between police and civilians, and more.

I would hazard a guess that the average person on the street would like a return of Toronto the Good, but those are the people keeping their heads down and trying to just make it through each day (nothing wrong with that).

Keep your children safe, stay aware of your surroundings, and rise above all the negativities. Good luck – we all need it.

FEEDBACK Regarding the woman who feels badly about her behaviour decades ago (Dec. 6):

Reader – “I was terribly bullied as a child by a schoolmate in grade one (she was in grade two), who spent each recess trying to make me eat dog poop (yes, you read that right).  That was 39 years ago.  I’ve certainly moved on, but I’d really like an apology.

“I found her on Facebook, confronted her, but she sadly denied her behaviour.  I really wanted an apology and to understand what prompted her to target me.  I’d love to put that chapter to bed. I think it’s healing to address these old wounds as adults and to honour our feelings.

“If the writer feels compelled to apologize, it is good and right to do so.  If the younger girl graciously accepts the apology, both can move forward with a weight lifted. This is one way to undo wrongs of our past.”