I find it troubling that doctors' offices, clinics, hospital departments, etc. all warn the public that "abusive language" will not be tolerated, when medical professionals are often nasty to patients, and sometimes negligent.

Today I took my husband to a specialist who began the interview in a hurried, brusque way and kept demanding the precise dates that symptoms showed up, which I was unable to supply. I was trying to explain the series of events that had led up to the appointment, and he interrupted and informed me, "I don't want to hear about that." I felt like a suspect on the witness stand being grilled by a prosecutor.

Some years ago, I spent two weeks in hospital because of a mistake a doctor had made in my treatment. Doctors admitted that I'd got there in the nick of time and might have died otherwise. Yet the doctor who had erred never admitted that he'd done a sloppy job with my surgery. At one point, an intravenous stint was leaking blood all over my sheets, and when a nurse finally came, she informed me that, "This is not a hotel. There are sick people here." I had seven tubes in my body and told her not to take that tone with me, that I was one of those sick people. She left the room and called the head nurse, who came in and heard my story and solved the leaking blood problem, BUT the care nurse was snotty with me and I was terrified under her care and thankful when it was her day off.

I reported my experiences to the hospital's Quality of Care but got no apology. I consulted a lawyer who said that, "doctors are allowed to make mistakes." It took me four months to get back to some kind of normal after my (former) specialist's mistake.

My recent experience taking my husband to the specialist brought back all the terror I felt during that hospitalization six years ago.

Is there an organization in Ontario which supports members of the public who have suffered trauma after bad treatment by medical professionals?

Walking wounded

In Ontario, we have something called the Patient Ombudsman. This site will guide you on how to make a complaint, where to lodge your complaint and what to do after you’ve made the complaint. It does sound as though you have had several bad experiences, and I’m so sorry you’ve suffered. There are good doctors out there, and there are some who lack in bedside manner, for sure. Nurses tend to be more compassionate, but in our province, they are overworked and exhausted. That’s not an excuse, simply a fact.

Do not let what happened to you slide. Even though it was several years ago, it is still causing you post-traumatic stress. I also suggest you get some professional help to talk through your experience and find a way to put it behind you.

A friend of mine has invited me to a Greek christening. I’m not Greek and I’ve never been to a christening. How do I dress and what do I bring?

Newbie

Congratulations to your friends. As for the dress code, I suggest you call your friend and ask. Every family and every church is different, so I wouldn’t know how to answer that appropriately.

If you have a mutual friend, you could call them and ask what an appropriate gift would be. Is clothing for the baby the right choice? A stuffed toy? Or is a cheque what’s expected? My research came up with jewellery; not sure if that’s what you’d want to gift. Maybe even go in with another friend and gift together.

FEEDBACK Regarding disappointed parents (Feb. 27):
Reader – “This generation is all about texting. I feel that they have a difficult time with face-to-face, especially when it comes to expressions of gratitude, love and any heartfelt feelings.

“We have a similar situation with family members. 99 per cent of the thank yous we receive from the younger generation (20s and 30s) come to us via text. Depending on who is sending it, it can be heartfelt or just a simple thank you, love you.

“You need to understand who the person is and how comfortable they are with expressing themselves. In this situation it’s especially important to understand depending on how this child relates to the parents.

“They said thank you. Let it go.”

Reader #2 – “It’s quite acceptable to send a text as a thank you.  Unless the text was rude or ungrateful they should be thankful their gift was acknowledged. What more did they want?”