My live-in boyfriend of two years moved here to be with me but hasn't made any friends beyond co-workers. Last night he got a last-minute offer to see a movie with a co-worker. He accepted. I was so upset that I called and demanded he come home. Why can't I be happy that he's making friends and doing things with them?

Perturbed

If you were not questioning your own petty behaviour, anyone would have to conclude that you're a needy, insecure person.

If so, he probably hasn't made other friends for fear of your overreaction. And he'll eventually leave, rather than put up with such controlling and demeaning scenes.

Look in the mirror, if you don't want to push the guy away.

My sister's dating a Christian guy, we're Hindu. Our parents asked her to break up, but she's really serious about him. She's started lying (she tells me the truth) and my parents know it.

They gave her an example of future problems: Her boyfriend's family might want their grandchild to be baptized but there are no ceremonies for newborns in Hinduism. They say their differences might lead to fights and divorce.

This is my sister's first serious relationship. She's 21 and says that if she breaks up she won't be able to study or focus on anything. Because of the tension and her constant lies to see him, she's already unable to study.

She tried reasoning with my parents but they won't accept him because they're sure it won't work out for her. I want this resolved. We're both in university (I'll be going to residence soon) and our parents think we should focus on studying. How do I help resolve this situation?

Stuck in Middle

Study - focus on your own life, and goals. You can be your sister's confidante sometimes, but do not become her cover. Do NOT lie for her. This is her path, and she needs to face the ultimate decision alone, knowing that she may become estranged from your parents if she continues her relationship.

In some cases, parents relent when they see that the couple can work things out, or when a grandchild is born. But not always. Meanwhile, your sister's young for making a life choice that may alienate her from parents, and she needs to weigh whether she can live with that.

Suggest that she talk to someone respected in the community, to ask how such unions have generally been considered, and whether there's any way your parents can be persuaded to give her boyfriend a chance. Then, back off.

We're getting a Chinese nanny (my background). To make us comfortable leaving the kids with her, we asked my parents to come from China for one month when the nanny starts. I feel it should be for three months. My husband then threatened to cancel the nanny as he feels my parents don't respect his house rules.

I don't agree with his way of doing things. He locked them out once in winter because they didn't lock the door, as he'd asked. I considered divorcing him for not respecting them. Otherwise, he's mostly good and we have two beautiful kids. My parents miss them and want to spend time with them.

At Odds

One month is enough adjustment time for the nanny, and also enough for both sides to try to get along this time. Then, search for an affordable apartment for your parents to stay longer now or next visit.

I told my sister and brother in-law, confidentially, that I might claim bankruptcy, but wasn't sure. My sister told my mom, 84. I share some investments with my mom, so my sister feared I might jeopardize them (I wouldn't have).

I'm not talking to her, and now her husband's mad at me. He told my mom he doesn't want me anywhere near his property. I'm angry he'd say that to Mom, who doesn't need this drama, he should've said it just to me.

Lately, I had to talk to my sister on the phone, because we were sharing Mom's visit. I put my anger aside, and was polite. But how do I ever forgive her? Or am I being silly?

Upset

If you don't want drama, don't set the stage. YOU raised a logical fear in your sister's mind by musing about bankruptcy. Clear the air and end this squabble.