I'm an East Indian girl, 25, whose father said that if I ever have black friends in my house, or even hang around them, I'm kicked out forever.

My mom says, you can keep someone black as a friend but don't argue with your dad.

Many East Indians and Pakistanis are now more liberal regarding friendships amongst interracial cultures, especially when one resides in a multicultural society.

My father rebuked me, called me a bitch, and told my mother to "kick this woman out of this house!"

I'm well behaved and respectful, but it's getting hard for me to live here, it's affecting my emotional state.

Devastated

Your father's a bigot, and unlikely to change. Decide for yourself what you can live with and what you cannot. There's no point in arguing, he could even become violent in his need to prove that his prejudices rule in his home.

Consider your ability to become independent. If you're still pursuing education and need to live at home, form your friendships at school, and don't try to "convince" your father. That's an enlightenment project you can work on when you live on your own.

If you have more difficulties with him because he knows your attitudes haven't changed, it might help to talk to someone respected and more liberal in your community, and possibly have this person talk to your father.

But if more threats occur, call your local distress centre and make a plan for moving out soon.

Five years ago I lost my job of 16 years. I couldn't get work; I'm single, early 60s, with no pension(s) until 65.

I became depressed and anxious. My older, married daughter took me in, but my depression worsened, and I couldn't care for my grandchildren.

I left to live with another daughter in a new area, hoping to find employment there. But my older daughter resented that I left. At Christmas, I wasn't invited and my younger daughter left me alone to join her sister's family, with their husbands and children all together.

I left for a motel for a week using my last cent.

I ended up homeless, with no food. I begged my girls for help. They ignored my plea; my oldest responded, "I have no compassion for you."
Concerned friends took me into their homes. That was over two years ago. My depression and anxiety are past, now. But I still have a heavy heart because my children refused me.

My friends are disgusted, knowing my children had always come first before my needs. I never drank or socialized. I admit I spoiled them.
I'm trying to find peace. I have to struggle everyday to find a reason to hope, it's my mission every day.

Abandoned Mother

A heartbreaking story. Even if your daughters have another version, it's still astonishing that, for lack of babysitting help and/or past issues, they left you homeless and have still not come around.

One strong message here for others is that "spoiling" children can backfire, by creating selfish offspring who turn their backs when you're the one in need.

But for yourself, you've proven stronger than you knew. And your determination to find peace and hope is admirable.

You may one day feel that, for the sake of knowing your grandchildren, it's worth it to try one more time to re-connect with family. But don't push for this unless you are feeling very strong and able to continue managing on your own.

FEEDBACK Regarding remaining a virgin until marriage (July 13):

Reader - "When my husband and I started seriously dating, I told him that I believed in waiting until marriage. If he was disappointed, he didn't show it, and agreed to wait. We were married two years later, and we've now been happily married for 15 years.

"I'm still happy that we waited. I think it was better for our relationship, and for our sex life, too. Waiting isn't easy, but it's not impossible either. Every young (or not so young) woman out there should know that if he really cares for you, he'll be willing to wait.

"And think about the problems that can be avoided - unplanned pregnancies, abortions, single parenthood, all the terrible STDs that are out there now (with some resistant to antibiotics), not to mention broken hearts......"

It's for couples as committed to it and determined as you two.