My son is severely anaphylactic to all nuts including sesame seeds. He is going into his first year of university in another province and is living in a dorm. He has his own room, but the common areas, including the washroom are for everyone on his floor, which is about 30 people. There is a small common kitchen in there as well, but we put him on the food plan, which is the most popular option, so he can eat all his meals in the dining hall.

We put his allergy on all his intake forms, highlighting them for the housing and meal plan forms. I spoke with one of the people involved in the application process and asked how other people deal with this, since I know he’s not the first person to have anaphylaxis allergies to foods, especially nuts. I was assured that the dining hall is well-equipped to deal with this and that all important information regarding dorm life includes a message regarding allergies and consideration.

My issue is that my son is very quiet and shy, and I’m worried he won’t speak up with a group of strangers. Obviously, all his friends at home know, and every mom where he grew up is aware. But now he’s on his own and I’m nervous! How can I help him?

Allergy Alert

Since this is a life-or-death situation, you must speak up and be proactive on behalf of your son. He must ALWAYS have an EpiPen on him, one in his dorm room, and one in the common kitchen. He must also wear a Medi bracelet, for his own safety. I understand that he doesn’t want to start his year off with, “Hi. I’m Jay. I’m allergic to nuts.” But he’s going to have to.

Also, when you take him to school, go into the dining hall together and ask to speak to whoever is in charge. As you can imagine, this probably isn’t their first experience with this situation. Yes, it’s a bit helicopter-ish, but this is your son’s life and that trumps everything.

My husband just brought home a new puppy and I am thrilled! My eight-year-old daughter is beside herself with joy and can’t stop snuggling the little guy. We understand training a puppy is hard work and takes time, and my husband and I are on the same page as to who will do what and when.

He is also completely understanding that my daughter will not be part of the training process as she is too young and is on the spectrum. Part of the reason he got the dog is to help her feel loved without any expectation, and to teach her to give love freely and effortlessly.

My concern is my teenage stepson, who comes and goes between our house and his mother’s. She is rarely home, has hot and cold running nannies, and would never let a dog in her home for fear it would dirty her floors. My stepson has grown up never having to lift a finger, with zero responsibilities and a huge sense of entitlement.

How can we ensure that he doesn’t hinder the training process AND that he treats the dog with love and respect?

Blended

All four of you should attend the first few puppy training sessions together, even if your daughter doesn’t take it in. It will be good for her to feel part of this process. And your stepson will hopefully become committed – and fall in love with the puppy.

I am sure that your daughter could be given some tasks, though I wouldn’t hazard to say which, based on her abilities. I wish you and your family many years of puppy licks ahead.

FEEDBACK Regarding barking dog (June 19):

Reader – “You completely let the owners of the offending dog off the hook. It would have been great to point out that owners of dogs who bark INCESSANTLY, are rude and inconsiderate people who value their animal's convenience over their neighbours.

“You can't talk to people like that, they'll get angry at you and ignore you. They KNOW their dog barks incessantly, and they CHOOSE to let that happen every single day.

“I have a neighbour like that, and they simply DO NOT CARE AT ALL. Our bylaws clearly allow me to report them, but I don't, even though I've never talked to them about it, because a rude and inconsiderate neighbour who feels entitled to burden their entire community with a barking dog, will only cause me MORE trouble if I report them to bylaw enforcement.”