My boyfriend’s mother is a Pilates instructor who specializes in retreats and workshops. She does multi-day events outside of the city, at the family farm, as well as full day retreats either at the farm or a friend’s backyard.

My mom has been doing Pilates for years and really enjoys it. She’s never done any of my boyfriend’s mom’s classes because they didn’t know each other before we met. I’ve mentioned to my mom that she should participate in one of these retreats, and she sounded interested. So, I mentioned it to my boyfriend, and he mentioned it to his mom.

Crickets. My mom hasn’t received an invitation and it’s been a few months. Now it’s all just awkward between the moms and us. What do I do?

Pilates Problem

Just let it go. For whatever reason, your boyfriend’s mom doesn’t want to include your mom. Who knows why? Maybe she’s fully booked. Maybe she doesn’t want to start a friendship in case you two break up. Maybe multiple other reasons. Let it go. Your mom was doing fine before; she’ll continue to be fine without your boyfriend’s mom’s retreats.

I have a small group of friends, mostly men aged mid-30s. Very recently, I'm noticing that our gatherings are being 100 per cent dominated by talk of "prediction markets." Namely, beating the odds with a "system" and exploiting latency to win sports bets. Previously, the talk may have been of stock market investments and options trading. But with the availability of Kalshi and other such platforms, I fear this friends’ group is becoming raging gamblers fixated on "beating the odds."

I don't enjoy hanging out anymore with these guys because of this and moreover I don't want to be pulled into the prediction markets which are illegal in my country. What should I do?

Kalshi Concerned

Kalshi is not legally available in Canada, so I’m assuming you live in the States? I’m not fluent, but my understanding is that Kalshi is federally regulated and legal. Your friends have found a new “toy” and they’re excited about it. But my research shows that roughly two thirds of users lose money, so I imagine your friends will tire of that soon enough.

In the meantime, you could get together and participate in activities that don’t allow for too much conversation, but are still more interactive than say, going to the movies. You could play doubles tennis or pickleball, go for big bike rides, or play 18 holes of golf.

You could also tell the group how you feel. It’s not a judgement, but it makes you uncomfortable, and could they refrain from discussing this part of their lives for the two or three hours you’re all together. If they can’t, or they try but end up discussing it anyway, take a break.

FEEDBACK Regarding government bureaucracy (April 28):

Reader – “Please suggest that when dealing with any large organization such as government departments, banks, or hospitals, the person needs to get names all along the line. I find that when an employee name is attached to their advice, that employee is more likely to take care to steer me in the right direction and not just slough me off. Also, this is helpful with any followup that needs to be done, especially if the client needs to complain farther up the chain of command.”

FEEDBACK Regarding the independent senior (April 24):
Reader – “May I suggest to your reader/writer, a drive-away service from Arizona to Canada or vice versa, such as canadadriveaway.ca or hittheroad.ca  or any of the other companies out there. Have mom fly there and back and pay someone to drive her car down for her, and home.”

FEEDBACK Regarding the prison widow (April 21):
Reader – “I’m retired from a career in corrections.  Her story doesn’t add up and is unfortunately typical for women with boyfriends who are inmates.

“Lawyers don’t take direction from family; they have complete access to the inmates they represent. Inmates’ assets are often sold off and the proceeds put in trust accounts for their release. He’s not being truthful with her and if he continues to profess his innocence he won’t qualify for parole.

“Inmates either receive pay for work or an allowance if they’re doing high school in the Institution or taking Correctional Programs and taking responsibility for their actions. They’re extremely limited on the amount they can spend on canteen so the junk food can’t be used as currency with other inmates.  The funds come from their inmate account. They can also purchase items through the inmate catalogue - one of the suppliers is Amazon; he’s not hard done by!”