My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. We both still live at home with our parents and younger siblings. There were lots of rules when we first got together, regarding when we could/would be included in the other one’s family events, even just family dinners with grandparents. And there were rules about being alone and obviously about sleeping over.

But over the past three years, we have very much integrated into each other’s families. He’s always over at my house for Taco Tuesdays, and I’m always at his house for Sunday afternoon brunch. And we’re now welcome to sleep over. At his house, we sleep in his room, on the third floor; at my house, we sleep in the basement on the pullout couch.

Last week it was my boyfriend’s birthday. To my shock and horror, my mother posted a birthday tribute to him on Instagram, which included music and multiple images. I’m so embarrassed – and she has no idea why. How do I explain to her that what she did was weird and inappropriate?

OTT Mom

Your mom obviously really likes your boyfriend and, more importantly, approves of the relationship. That’s a good thing. But yes, what she did crossed a boundary line.

Explain to her that she could have privately wished him happy birthday, baked him a cake, bought him a gift. But to post on social media is wildly public and not her place.

She can post birthday wishes to her husband, her children, her sister, her friends – anyone who is DIRECTLY connected to HER. But she is NOT allowed to post about anyone who is connected through someone else without that person’s consent. It’s just rule of thumb.

Don’t be angry; she was acting out of love. Yes, it’s embarrassing but it’s done. She could remove the post, if you show her how. And guaranteed she won’t do it again after your explanation. Remember - she’s from a different generation. She didn’t grow up with social media so some of the rules don’t make sense to her. Give her a break. And a hug. She thought she was doing something nice.

My daughter is a mini kleptomaniac, and she doesn’t understand why it’s not OK to take things, even when they seemingly don’t belong to anyone. Let me preface by saying she’s only seven years old.

We were at a store recently buying a gift for her cousin. After that, we went to another store to buy Father’s Day gifts. And after that we went to a chocolate store. All three were in a mall. We had lunch at the food court, went to one more store and then got in the car to drive home.

I looked in the rearview mirror and saw her eating some chocolate. I asked her where she got it and she said, “the chocolate store.” But I hadn’t bought it for her; she just grabbed it out of the bin. No one noticed. We talked about why that was wrong, and she seemed to get it. But when we got home, I saw her playing with a little toy I had never seen before, and she told me she got it at the first store.

Same conversation; same apparent understanding. But clearly not. What do I do?

Ruthie Robber

At her age, she’s still developing both her understanding of property and ownership, and right from wrong. I suggest you take her back to the mall and retrace your steps. She needs to tell the store owner/manager what she’s done, apologize and pay for the item. If, at seven, she doesn’t have her own money, then you’ll have to pay up front, but she can “work it off” through age-appropriate household chores.

FEEDBACK Regarding mom-texting (April 29):

Reader – “This is common operating procedure for many young people. In our case, our son and his fiancé text and then phone if they don't get an immediate reply. It's never urgent. On the flip side, we can wait days before we get a response. Often there's no response. I've said it's not OK.

“Moving forward I'm just not going to reply. What's good for the goose.”

Lisi – I don’t agree. That’ll just make matters worse.

FEEDBACK Regarding intimate moments (May 4):
Reader – “I read your article every day but do not agree with the publishing of this letter.  Yes, you are a relationship columnist; but sex therapist, no.

“The couple have been together nearly 11 years and might have figured this out by now, instead of you commenting on it and making my breakfast curdle.

Grossed out

Lisi – Sorry you feel this way.