My brother’s girlfriend won’t talk to me. She says hello when we see each other, and she’ll answer any question I ask her face-to-face. But she never asks me anything – not about myself, my family or even regarding any plans we may have as a family.

I have tried to engage her in conversation, but I’m met with one-word answers, and invariably, a phone call after the fact from my brother berating me for whatever she deemed was wrong with the words that came out of my mouth.

Once, while at our parents for an Easter brunch, I asked her what her family did as their Easter traditions, if any, when she was growing up. She looked at me with daggers and turned her back on me. Later that night, my brother called me and ripped me a new one because I had asked her a question about her family. WTF?!?

No love

Your brother’s girlfriend is not interested in getting too close to you. Why? Who knows. Perhaps she got burned in her last relationship. Maybe she became besties with her ex’s sister and then lost a friend when she and her beau split up.

Take a step back. If this is the relationship she wants with you, one at a long arm’s length, then accept that, for now. By pushing yourself on her, you’re inadvertently pushing your brother away. It sounds as though he is going to side with her, no matter how irrational her argument.

Let some time pass from your latest encounter and then talk to your brother. Let him know how you feel - that you want nothing more than to be close with whomsoever he is close with, as an extension of your close sibling relationship. Hopefully he’ll see your point of view.

My neighbour has a dog who barks incessantly. She’s a sweet pup, always wagging her tail, always looking for someone to pet her, seemingly always happy. But she stands at the front of her house and barks all morning at the people walking by, going to school or work or wherever. The barking starts around 7 a.m. and lasts a good hour. And it’s the same in the evening. The rest of the time, the dog is quiet.

I hate to be that person, but the sound is increasingly annoying and as a result, I’m becoming increasingly angry. I’ve tried to check the noise bylaws in my area, and it seems the dog falls within the guidelines.

How can I get this to stop?

Barked Out

Unfortunately, if the dog is barking well within the noise bylaw hours, according to my research, there’s nothing you can do. That doesn’t mean that you can’t go over to your neighbour’s and talk to them about it. You could explain that you know the dog isn’t doing anything wrong but that you find it very irritating and would they consider trying to help you.

They may; they may not. From your description, it sounds as though the dog is a greeter and is saying good morning to everyone walking by at the beginning of their day, and then again when they return in the evening. That doesn’t make it any less annoying.

For your own benefit, perhaps keep a pair of earplugs by your bed for the morning barks, and turn on your music for the after-work episode. As soon as you hear the first bark of the session, close your windows and go to the back of the house.

Unfortunately, since the dog isn’t breaking any laws, it becomes a you problem.

FEEDBACK Regarding dress code (April 15):

Reader – “The writer specifically mentioned wearing sweatpants.  My first thought was ‘this kid (like mine) has a sensory processing disorder.’ That might be something the parent should investigate rather than focusing exclusively on enforcing social norms.  Dressed up might look different with accommodations built in.”

Reader #2 – “I liked your advice to the mom of a teenager who dresses too informally for events. The teen is old enough to have a boyfriend so is surely old enough to know what’s appropriate. It sounds like she has her back up, so after offering to shop for some nice things, mom should let it alone and ignore her appearance.

“In time she’ll figure it out or not.”

Reader #3 – “Having raised teenagers, dress code is the least you should be arguing about. Pick your battles. Let her have that control. She knows perfectly well what’s appropriate but wants to make a statement.”