I am convinced that my husband is having an affair with one of his co-workers. He owns a bakery and she is his manager. They are together all day, every day, and when they’re not in the store, they’re on the phone discussing store-related issues.
But what issues could they be discussing at 11p.m. that are so important? It never used to surprise or bother me that he had to leave before sunrise to start the ovens and get the food baking, but now, when he says he’ll just sleep there, I know something is wrong.
What do I do?
Baked Goods
The worst feeling is to think that something is going on behind your back, and you are being played for the fool. Is there someone you can confide in? It’s important to not let any of your feelings stay bottled up.
Have you spoken with your husband? Have you asked him point blank what is going on with him and his manager? I believe you will be able to tell from his response. If he becomes defensive and argumentative, you’ve probably hit a sore spot. If he responds lovingly and compassionately and sincerely apologizes for behaving in a way that would make you think he was cheating, then perhaps you’re mistaken.
Good luck getting to the bottom of it. This is not an easy time.
My girlfriend has just announced that she’s gluten free and dairy-free. She has no allergies or intolerances; she’s just decided that she wants to give this new dietary regime a go. It’s her body and her choice, so I don’t have a problem with it. My only issue is that I’m the one who does all the cooking, and now it just makes it harder for me to come up with exciting meals. Especially since I LOVE pasta.
How can I explain to my girlfriend that her diet whims put pressure on me?
Chef challenge
Tell your girlfriend that you’re happy to help her with her dietary restrictions, but you’d like her help in finding you new recipes to try. Then go grocery shopping together and cook together. It can be hard to get your head around this new way of cooking, but once you do, you’ll see that there are hundreds of delicious gluten and dairy-free recipes out there.
My husband put on about 30 pounds this winter and is now depressed. I only noticed about 10 pounds ago, which I feel badly about, but we were wearing layers and winter clothes. He hurt his knee so didn’t do a lot of exercise this winter, which is unusual for him.
But now the weather has changed, and he can’t fit into any of his lighter clothing. And now he’s so upset, he’s eating his misery, which isn’t helping his diet. I’d love to help him and be supportive, but I’m not sure how. What do you suggest?
Helpful Spouse
Ask your husband if he’d like your help, first. Explain to him that you’d love to help him diet and exercise, but you don’t want to upset him.
If his knee is better, you could start walking (do you have a dog?), maybe even going to the gym. He may benefit from some physiotherapy as well.
And now is the perfect time to switch out your heavy comfort food meals for lighter fares, such as salads and light fish meals, switching out cakes and cookies for fruit.
FEEDBACK Regarding nephew who doesn’t like hugs (Feb. 24):
Reader – “It seems to be a growing trend for people to greet each other with a hug. I just cringe when this happens. I step back and tell the people that I don’t like to be touched. It often seems that this is treated as a spoilsport request. Many people seem not to realize that I am just as glad to see them as they are me, but don’t need or want the physical contact to join in the enjoyment.
“In your case, I would say to just enjoy your nephew’s presence without the physical contact and forget about wanting to hug him. Accept that one person doesn’t automatically have the right to invade another’s space.”
FEEDBACK Regarding maple (Feb. 23):
Reader – “Not sure I’d give this friend a ‘free pass.’ Friends don’t have to march in lock step, and this is not a behaviour that calls for ending a relationship. But ‘Maple’ should be able to express his views and his disappointment clearly, especially since his friend seems to be feeling guilty.”