My girlfriend is going away over the holidays with her family and I wasn’t invited. I’m not angry that I wasn’t invited because her family booked the trip over six months ago and we’ve only been together for three months, but I just feel strange about the whole thing.

They’re going away with two other families. One family are her cousins, but the other family are just family friends. I know that family has a son who is a year older than my girlfriend, but a year younger than me, who has had the hots for her for years. She’s told me all about him.

I know I shouldn’t be jealous, but they’re about to go on this cool adventure to rain forests and jungles, doing cool things like hiking and zip-lining, and well, I’m jealous.

How do I deal with this?

Hot Holiday

You trust your girlfriend. She’s told you about this guy, and she’s obviously not interested. She’s had ample opportunity to get together with him (if he’s had the hots for her for years) and she hasn’t. So, trust her!

But instead of stewing over it and letting your imagination get the better of you, be honest with her and tell her how you feel before she leaves. Hopefully she will be sympathetic, assuage your worries, and you two can enjoy each other’s company without this issue looming over your head.

Then let it go. You have no control over what happens in the rain forest.

My boyfriend has been lying to me and I had no idea. I was hanging out with some friends at a friend of a friend’s place, when one girl walked in that I’ve never met. We were all just chatting and whatever, and she started telling us about some guy who was hitting on her at the coffee shop. Apparently, he was telling her how he’s planning on breaking up with his girlfriend, doesn’t love her anymore, and was asking this woman for tips.

Someone else asked if he was hot, and she said yes and started to describe him. One of my friends looked at me and then asked some pointed questions about his looks and his appearance, specific to my boyfriend. The girl said yes and asked if my friend knew him. She said yes and shortly thereafter we left.

My boyfriend told me LAST NIGHT that he loved me, and I honestly thought he was going to ask me to move in with him this holiday season! What do I do?

Shocked

You need to confront your boyfriend. If he’s fallen out of love with you, that’s his prerogative, but he shouldn’t lie to you about his feelings. And he certainly shouldn’t ask strange women how to get out of his relationship. That’s just ugly and immature.

I strongly suggest you make back up plans for the holidays and walk away from this person. He has disrespected you and doesn’t deserve you.

While emptying the groceries out of my car in a snowstorm recently, I had no choice but to pull up on the sidewalk to make room for any passing cars. There were no pedestrians in sight when I did so, and a car following closely behind me.

When I got out of the car, the other driver screamed obscenities at me. I ignored and carried my two bags inside. When I came out, less than five minutes later, a pedestrian was throwing snow through my slightly open car window.

Can’t win

Take a deep breath. It seems everyone is in a rush these days and angry. Rise above it all. Listen to nice music, go about your business, be patient with others. ‘Tis the season of forgiveness.

FEEDBACK Regarding the full moon (Sept. 22):
Reader – “I agree it has nothing to do with the author and is out of their control, but you’re blaming extremely bad behaviours on not getting enough sleep? What this person is seeing is everywhere and it’s disgusting! People have no consideration for others. I see it all the time and it breaks my heart that my children and grandchildren are witness to it.  If I could fix every idiot out there I would but to say this person needs more REM sleep is rude!

Shocked and disappointed

Reader #2 – “The problem is not hers but what’s happening all around us. People simply don’t care; there’s no kindness left.

“About the ‘full moon effect?’  It’s true. I nursed for 20 years, and believe me, patients were affected.”

Lisi –I mentioned that MAYBE the full moon was causing her lack of sleep which MAY have affected her mood.