For one reason or another, my husband and I no longer wear our wedding bands. But that is not the reason for writing to you.

Long story short, my husband wears a toe ring ... not under a sock, but in full view. He's in his Birkenstock sandals 24/7 and wears the gizeh and mayari styles, both which have the toe post or toe loop thus his toes are in full view to others.

I've asked him to remove it, but he has refused. I've tried talking to the chiropodist at the foot clinic we both attend to have her explain the dangers to him of wearing a toe ring. Against my wishes, she told me, “There isn't a problem as your husband's feet are in great shape, smooth with no calluses and the nails are healthy and there is no redness of the toe. The toe ring is fitted but twirls and is not at all too tight. Only problem would be removing it as sits past the first knuckle.”

So, he wears the toe ring, ALL THE TIME. I've tried removing the toe ring and discarding it when he's sleeping, but without soap and lotion and an effort removing it past the knuckle, I have not been successful.

Besides which, he wears it outside, even to church on Sundays as there is a relaxed dress code. I can almost hear the gossip and chatter in the background of those who see the toe ring and how wrong it is to wear one.

It's not gawdy but it's stainless steel, thin and silver in colour. And the fact of being fitted, I wonder where he may have gone to get the proper size. Who would measure the size of a man's toe? It's just creepy.

Too Much Toe

You didn’t really ask a question, but I understand that you would like your husband to get rid of his toe ring. Clearly, you don’t like it. But I’m not sure why.

Is it that you would prefer him not to wear any jewellery if he’s not going to, at the very least, wear a wedding ring? Is it simply that you would like your husband to put his toes out of public view now and then?

I sometimes wear a toe ring in the summer. I find it uncomfortable under socks at any other time of year, and if I’m doing a lot of sports, then I can’t wear it either. But I love the look on freshly pedicured feet, in sandals, and a pretty ring. I do, however, share your thoughts on men with toe rings, simply because of their (usually) hairy toes. But that’s my preference and NOT in any way a judgement.

So, how do you speak to your husband about his toe ring that you find unattractive? Please do NOT try to remove it in his sleep. That will NOT bode well for your marriage. Just tell him honestly that you don’t like the look. Express your understanding that it’s his body and he can wear what he pleases, but you’re his wife and it doesn’t please you. So come up with a compromise, for example, please don’t wear sandals to church, or when going out for dinner, or to the theatre or wherever. Hopefully, he’ll care about your preference.

You can be sure that this toe ring will not be on forever. The minute he needs an X-ray, or MRI, or an operation – off it goes. Also, remember this: he wasn’t wearing it when you married him, so try to look past his toe and see your husband for who he is.

FEEDBACK Regarding feeling overwhelmed (July 10):

Reader – “YOU are in control of the power switch.  If you do not like what you see, CHANGE THE CHANNEL.

“Go outside for a walk in nature. Listen to birds chirping, leaves rustling or water flowing - natures NATURAL relaxing sounds.

“Get active volunteering and do something good yourself.  Helping others is a huge mental relief.  Get involved in social activities.  Check out offerings of local municipal recreation.

“Yes, stay informed, but limit the amount of exposure; place filters on your social media feeds, limit news exposure to ONLY specific times of day.  Do NOT watch any 24-hour news channels, especially where the same story is placed on repeat.

“YOU are in CONTROL of what you watch and listen to, and when.”

Reader #2 – “Your reader asked why the news couldn’t focus on more upbeat stories. Because that’s not what sells. The adage is ‘if it bleeds it leads’.”