We took our kids out of school early for March break this year to avoid the higher cost of airplane tickets and hotel stay. Thankfully, there were a few other families at our hotel, so our kids’ made friends and had fun.

One afternoon, I was sitting in the shade reading a book. I had a headache so needed to stay out of the sun but needed to be able to watch the children in the pool. At one point, my 14-year-old daughter and her newfound 16-year-old twin friends were doing handstands and cartwheels in the pool. They were giggling and having the best time.

In front of me and around a corner, so I was out of sight from them, sat two older men, European, in Speedo style bathing suits. They were speaking Spanish, of which I understand a little. Enough to know that they were looking at these underage teenagers and saying lewd things. And their bathing suits showed where their interests lay.

I snuck away behind them, went around the other side and called to the girls to get out of the pool. In other words, the men had no idea I had removed the girls because of them.

Fortunately, I had befriended one of the security the day before and I told him what happened. I’m not sure what he said to those men, but I never saw them at the pool again.

Do you think I did the right thing?

Mamma Bear

Yes, yes, a million times yes. You can’t control how other people behave, or what they say, in a public area. But at a family-style hotel, where underage children are present and frolicking, any form of suspect behaviour is unacceptable. I have no doubt that those men weren’t solely focused on your daughter and her friends. Certainly, they were enjoying the eye candy of any of the young women in skimpy bikinis.

It is fortunate for you that you befriended that security guard, and that he took your request seriously. I think you did the right thing, especially for your own peace of mind.

I have a group of friends – four couples who I thought were good friends. We spent a lot of time together when our kids were growing up, as we all had hockey as a shared interest. We’ve all been lucky enough to have grandchildren and are busy helping and of course, watching the activities that they’re involved in.

I always try to connect with them to find time to get together.  Now I feel that if I don't make the effort, I don't hear from them.

Should I mention it or just forget it?

Disappointed

The answer depends completely on what you want for the result. If you feel that the friendship has lost its lustre, and you’d rather spend time with others, then forget it.

But if you enjoy their company, like the bond you all have, and want to maintain the connection, then you should mention it. You have probably been the “planner” for so long that they have just come to rely on you. I suggest reaching out with a plan…. That every month a different couple oversees making the plan (or however often you get together). If it’s every three months, you’re only on deck once a year.

However, if one couple is simply incapable, decide if it’s worth closing the door on this decades’ long friendship. I feel that if you reached out to me, then you care enough to keep it going. Think of it as a compliment, as opposed to them not wanting to see you.

FEEDBACK Regarding the people who don’t RSVP (Dec. 31):

Reader – “You gave great insights into older folk who just stop using technology. We’re all just one app update away from chucking our own tech!

“From my experience, late RSVPs are an epidemic. I run business workshops and events and people always wait until the last minute to buy a ticket and confirm attendance. I have some chronic health issues that greatly affect my ability to enjoy going out, so I also often wait to see how I’m feeling closer to the date.

“Older people also worry about weather at certain times of year. And partners who need to be cajoled into attending events. Also, if they no longer drive, they need to find a ride.

“But they should absolutely text or email saying, ‘Thank you for the invite. Would it be ok if I let you know once I confirm x, y, z?’

“Communication. It’s a lifelong endeavour!”