I'm about to marry a woman I met in rehab last year. I know my feelings for her aren't like hers for me. My true love belongs to a young woman who lives elsewhere. I've loved her for some time and she loves me.

My fiancee is twice my age and I get criticized for that. But it'll be very hard for me to leave her, since we live together and some bills are in my name. What should I do?

Confused in Oregon

Cancel the wedding. Even if it means living uncomfortably while you pay off your debts and endure her hurt reaction, it's better for both of you if you don't live a lie.

Apologize to her, explain that you hated to disappoint her, but that you know you'll both regret this marriage.

Try to re-connect with the woman you love. But even if that doesn't work out, you should NOT be marrying someone else.

I've been dating this guy for a year. We're going to the same college, in the same course and, since I don't know anyone living in that area and he can't afford to live alone, we decided to get a two-bedroom apartment together.

Now he's being rude, blaming me for everything when I try to tell him my issues, leaves without telling me where he's going even when we were supposed to be going somewhere together, and shows no interest in me.

I'm questioning if I want to live with this now, but we're looking at apartments today for school in September. I'm afraid of moving out on my own, in this not-so-safe city but there's no one else.

Crossroads

It's emotionally unhealthy to live with someone who treats you badly. There's obviously no romance left here, yet the guy isn't mature enough to discuss this change of heart, nor is he trying to just be respectful roommates.

However, I suspect that you'd still be insecure and wanting him to pay attention to you as a girlfriend.

Instead, talk to Student Services at your college, to get help finding a roommate who wants to share the rent and the security of not living alone. That's the route you should go. Do NOT sign on for a place with this guy for next September.

I'm devoted to my husband of 26 years but he finds either work or a third party to create crises in our lives. He hired a down-on-her-luck woman, to help with home fix-ups. She had mental health issues. We were supportive.

However, she became arrogant and rude to my children. Despite my objections, my husband kept her around.

I wasn't worried about any cheating (she's a lesbian) but I eventually put my foot down. I still feel my husband resenting me for it. (She now has a loving partner).

Before, it was his work that distanced us, and with the removal of the third person in the relationship, I still feel like I'm the runner-up. I do feel he's deliberately blocking me.

Sidelined

"Blocking" covers a discomfort with intimacy. Work, and helping others, are often ways that some people keep their relationship at arm's length. After 26 years, you know whether he confides feelings and enjoys relaxed time together, or prefers to be busy and project-oriented. Suggest marital counselling to try to find new ways to connect. If it doesn't work, discuss with a therapist ways for you to create a life for yourself, either with or without him.

I was best friends with this boy in my class for two years and I think that's all he considers me. Now I love him and want to protect him from getting hurt.

My best girlfriend likes him now, she's really pretty and I feel like I don't stand a chance. I want to tell him I love him because there's a rumour that he likes me too, but I'm afraid to get rejected and lose our friendship. What should I do?

Unsure

You're creating a drama from what's just a friendship, possibly because you fear competition from this other girl. Stay quiet. Telling him you "love" him when he hasn't asked you out, and showed you no sign of similar feelings, is way too much.

It's not your job to "protect" him. Just be a friend to both these people. If they end up dating, it's not about rejecting you.