Dear Readers - Some questions and comments from my March 23 online chat about Dating Sites, which couldn't get answered in time:

I tried a paid online dating site three times - 1) Dated a man for a year, he broke up with me via text message. 2) Dated a man for four months, he broke up with me via email. 3) Dated a man for two months and got played.

Sometimes dating sites work, sometimes they don't. The important thing is don't take it too seriously.

Wise approach. Email breakups lack humanity, but if you play by media, be prepared to have it end through media.

After a 15-year marriage ended I gave online a try. Within a few weeks I met someone very nice. Years later we're still together. So be patient and have hope!

You're among the lucky ones. Congratulations!

I have a friend whom I've been trying to convince to try dating websites, but he can't get past his sense of a stigma of "desperation." Any tips for the reluctant?

Dating sites have become a mainstream meeting place, not just a last resort. The vast majority of users aren't desperate, but find themselves in jobs and lifestyles where they're not easily meeting new people.

The important thing is to NOT be desperate, not build unreasonable hopes and expectations. Take time checking out people who respond, meet soon after, and do NOT get attached before you've met several times in person.

I'm a 40ish divorced woman. What do I need to do to protect myself on these sites from those who don't take it seriously?

Make sure you carefully read the signals about what the person says about himself, and similarly when talking to anyone. Don't disclose your address or where you work, until you feel some trust. Meet in a public place and have a friend call after an hour to see if you're alright. Call that person when you get home.

I met my wife eight years ago on a dating website. We actually lived five km from each other. I was divorced with no kids; she'd never been married. We've now been married six years and have two kids. We are still as happy as Day One!

A great story! Readers, take note: They took two years of dating before marrying. The fantasy of meeting online and deciding instantly that you've found The One, is rare. And foolhardy.

How long should I talk to someone online before setting up a date? I'd like to get to know someone a little bit before I meet him or her, but if you leave it too long it gets awkward.

Wait until you're comfortable. If someone's rushing you, he/she is either insecure or shopping several people. Once you both enjoy the online connection, you should agree to NOT be testing others and to meet. If the meeting works out, plans should be made very soon, to see each other again.

If your online dating is long-distance, how do you move it to the next stage? Does it matter if the woman (me) is the first to suggest a visit? And do I go to him or does he go to me?

There are no rules. Whoever can visit sooner, should do so. Long-distance "relationships" online are chancy until you see whether the person is all that he/she claims to be. Also check whether their lifestyle is what they described, as well as something to which you relate comfortably.

I'm single, straight, and not looking to hookup or marry outside of my regular social circle. Upon signing onto a dating site, I messaged several young women who were around my age (but of different ethnicity and cultures to mine), just to break the ice.

The result was to only have them ignore my messages. So I've stopped using them, and told myself they're just a waste.

If you went to a party, you wouldn't be interested in every woman you saw, nor would they all be interested in you.

You were clear with the women you messaged about just wanting to date casually, since you intend to eventually seek a partner within your regular circle.

That's a "no-future-possible!" warning to the women, so they naturally had a "why-even-bother" reaction. There's no reason for you to feel rejected or disappointed, you limited your outreach severely and chose the wrong people for your approach.