When my boyfriend of five years speaks in public among his co-workers, bosses, friends, and family, his voice sounds masculine and professional.
When he's alone with me, he shouts, slurps, snores, etc.
We're both 35.
I ask him why he talks like that and he says "what?" Friends say he's just being himself. I wish he'd speak sweetly to me.
What should I do?

- The Other Side

Be careful what you wish for, since "sweet talk" is usually a metaphor for someone being falsely convincing.
Listen again when he's in public: Is he being natural, open, and relaxed, or is he trying to impress?
Now listen again when you're at home with him, and listen to your instincts, too. Is his private behaviour so boorish that he's constantly annoying you?
Five years is a long time to stay with someone about whom you feel so critical.
Consider whether there's a deeper issue - that you don't truly accept this guy as your Mr. Right.
If so, move on to a non-slurper you can love.

I've contacted a woman whom I was to marry long ago, when I was to return home from overseas.
Since I'd had no career or training (I'd joined the Air Force during my last year in school), I backed off. I couldn't forget her, or the shabby way I parted from her.
I recently sent a letter to her small hometown post office and it was forwarded to a relation who sent it to her across the country.
She's now a widow; I have a wife who has no objections to my communicating with this old flame. The fact that we're all over age 80 probably is a reason for that.
The woman seems to have forgiven me and I've had a chance to explain my actions back then. She and I wish to continue communicating - with some reminiscences and mutual interest in how our "begats" are fairing. What's your take on this?
Should we continue to write and/or call? I doubt if we could or would want to meet personally.

- Old Flame

Watch those embers, even at 80!
When you stir up past memories, consider how the heat affects your current partnership.
Here's my take: IF your wife is kept in the loop of your new communication, and IF she's familiar with your old stories and told the new ones that emerge through chats with this other woman, then a friendly correspondence will be interesting for all.
But if you handle this as a private contact which distracts from your confidences with your wife, it can be hurtful to her.
Remember, just as you couldn't get past feelings about letting this woman down, there's no age limit on your wife's feeling sidelined by you, even at 80.

My husband has four children from a previous marriage; he didn't approve of his only daughter's non-Christian boyfriend so he didn't connect with her for a year. I worked at bringing father and daughter together and sometimes included her mother.
After grandchildren were born, things improved, especially after our son-in-law accepted the Christian faith.
I began taking a small gift to the children every visit. Our daughter only gave a card for her father's birthday and Father's Day.
We'd sometimes all be at the home of my husband's ex-wife and I'd see cards and gifts. We only got a card at Christmas until 2005, when we were given a Christmas plate.
This year, our daughter said she didn't get us anything because we have so much, but she gave her mother a large gift.
I said to our daughter, "You're the most selfish person." I explained that a trinket from the dollar store would be better than just a card. Her father is badly hurt; we've not seen them since.
Where do I go from here? I don't want this family relationship to break up.

- No Gifts

If you want to mend the relationship, you have to swallow your pride, stop comparing gifts, and apologize to your step-daughter for your outburst. The sensitivities are between father and daughter.
He originally rejected her and her choice of partner, which was likely devastating after her parents' divorce.
She's still paying Dad back with her own style of rejection. They need to talk this out, on their own.
You should continue to be generous to the grandchildren, so they aren't made part of the divide.