For our recent Baby Christening, we invited closest relatives to a home reception after Church. A stranger arrived, saying she was invited by my aunt, and stayed eating and drinking.

There wasn't extra room at the table, so dinner had to become a buffet. My grandmother then spilled her dinner on her dress and our sofa. My aunt said: "You should've planned a sit down dinner! Old people can't cope with a buffet!" My brother later told me, she'd brought three friends to his corn roast!

She has a beautiful house, but never has her friends there. With Baby #2 on the way, how do we avoid a repeat of this problem? Most of the family makes a joke of it.

We're Not Laughing

Family humour can be more memorable than perfect dinner parties, but still, there has to be a limit put on Auntie Dearest who likes to "entertain" at others' expense. And, perhaps, these special invitations keep her friends' attached to her.

Allot her one guest and be clear that there'll be no room for more at the sit-down dinner she herself recommends.

Entertainment tip - keep an inexpensive fold-up card table tucked in a closet, that can be pulled out for unexpected "overflow" to whom you don't want to be rude.

I have allergies to fragrances. Most of my co-workers refrained from using scented products when asked, but one doesn't seem to care.

When I approached her about it, she complained to the assistant manager, who spoke to the manager, who's asked me not to talk to her about it anymore because she "got upset". (She's made herself the victim, though I'm the one with the painful allergies. she cries easily, and the male assistant manager can't cope with a crying woman, so he appeases her).

The manager won't implement a fragrance-free policy but asked me to alert him so he can smell for himself and then talk to her. The assistant manager will have told her this, so she's not upset anymore.

Now, the days the manager is in the office, she's fragrance-free! When he's not there, she's HEAVILY scented.

She knows that the manager won't talk to her about it because she's unscented when he's there.

Others in the office who dislike her strong fragrances are afraid to say anything because she has the assistant manager wrapped around her little finger. I'm the only one not afraid to say something.

I've thought about working from home, but that's not ideal for my job. I've already switched desks to be as far away as I can get from the fragrances.

My doctor isn't too keen on helping me because my symptoms aren't bad enough yet. But it's getting worse because of the constant exposure.

Smelly Dilemma

For some immediate relief, set up a small fan or air purifier on your desk to alleviate the smell. And consider working from home on the days when the manager is not there... if this is do-able.

Then, whatever your symptoms, your doctor should be willing to write a note listing them, and the likelihood of heavier reaction with increased exposure.

This note should be presented to both managers (with the verbal alert that her tears are short-lived while your allergy is long-term.)

You should also get informed about Labour Relations policies in your jurisdiction. You are certainly within your rights to take this to a human resources department if your company or parent company has one.

FEEDBACK Regarding the parents who are worried about their son, age 14, going out publicly dressed up in furry costumes, and isolating himself (Feb. 10):

Reader - "I myself have been in the furry fandom for many years, most of my friends locally are furry in some sort of way, and I also make costumes for myself and other people

"I even met my partner of ten years through the furry groups.

"There are a lot of us out there and our numbers have grown over the years due to becoming more mainstream. If the parents would like more information on this culture, they can go to www.furry.ca."

Thanks for sharing that your experience with this sub-group has not been the weird exposure these parents fear. They should definitely research the ideals and practices of "furries" so they can communicate with their son and also stay alert to his "isolation" tendency.