My son applied for and was accepted to a very interesting job this summer. The position is paid, but he will also receive volunteer hours, and it’s an incredible addition to anyone’s resume, especially for the area of study he wishes to pursue in university. Knowing the start date of the job, he booked another opportunity that has him out of the country doing some other volunteer work. This ends a week AFTER the other starts, but he wrote an entire proposal basically begging them to let him leave early. They weren’t happy about it, but acquiesced.

He’s left already for this trip, organized and ready for the summer job. He won’t be online for a week, preplanned as part of the trip. He asked me to check his emails once daily and I just received information that this coveted position has been cancelled!

Now my son is away, with no means to speak to anyone, leaving a program early, and with nothing to come home for. How can they have done this to him so late in the day? And how can I help him? Every other summer job, that’s worth anything, has been spoken for. It’s very late to have done this.

Mad Mom

Oh no! This is terrible! I’m so sorry to hear. There’s really nothing you can do, other than to call the office, on behalf of your son, just to understand WHY the position has been cancelled. It’s not going to change anything, but at least you’ll have an answer when you finally get in touch with your son.

In the meantime, if you have the time and energy, you could try to research other similar positions. You may find nothing, but at least you’ll have helped your son do some of the legwork, which may prove more difficult while he’s on his other trip. Also, as soon as you do speak to him, he could explain the situation to the people running his program and perhaps he could extend that week.

Unfortunately, things happen that are out of our control. We can be upset and yell into our pillow to let off steam, but then it’s up to us to turn the situation to our advantage. Be there for your son. This’ll hurt.

One of my besties lives in another country. I have visited her many times over the years and even lived there on two separate occasions. I’m a chocoholic and LOVE to find delicious chocolate from around the world.

Recently, something awful happened in my life, and my friend surprised me by showing up armed with a massive amount of all my favourite chocolates. Nothing could have assuaged my pain better. We sat up all night nibbling away at all the delicious treats.

Before we fell asleep, I put it all away so my dog wouldn’t get into it (a dangerous substance for dogs). My boyfriend let us sleep and left us a note when we woke, that he had made coffee, taken out the trash and gone to work. I was desperate for more of my treats, but when I opened the cupboard, it was all gone!

Turns out my boyfriend had used some in the coffee (it WAS good!), had taken some to work, and had thrown the rest out! WHY???

MORE CHOCOLATE

Let it go. Your boyfriend was trying to be a good and thoughtful partner. He didn’t wake you; made you coffee; and took out the trash. When he realizes he tossed your fave treats, he’ll probably feel remorseful. Don’t be angry. It’s not worth it. You munched enough. And you can always have your friend send more when she goes home. Lean into your beau. He’s trying.

FEEDBACK Regarding the “open” 12-year-old (March 16):

Reader – “Why did the mother use the word ‘shame?’ I believe she really meant that her daughter isn’t ‘self-conscious.’ Shame is too strong a word in that instance.

“What the mother didn’t comment on was whether her daughter was also being taught respect for other people.

“When my girls were six and three, my sister-in-law came to stay with us from the UK.  Our family wasn’t ‘ashamed’ of our bodies either, but if other people were around, would dress accordingly.  My sister-in-law was open about her body, and quite often would walk from bathroom to bedroom without a top on, and once even walked into the bathroom (when my girls were in the bathtub) to go to the toilet.  There were two other places she could have gone!!!

It made her nieces feel very uncomfortable.

“This girl needs to be taught respectful manners without curbing her unselfconsciousness.”