My son has just come back from university with a moustache. I’m personally not a fan of the moustache, but his is exceptionally ridiculous. He looks like a ‘70s porn star! I literally laughed in his face when he walked in because I thought it was a joke.
Now he’s furious with me. What do I do?
Every once in a while, we all make mistakes we can’t apologize for. Your son’s feelings are hurt, rightfully so since you laughed in his face.
Get your giggles out and then be honest with him. Tell him you don’t like moustaches on anyone, you thought he knew that, and so you thought he was playing a joke. Which is why you laughed. Tell him you’re very sorry you hurt his feelings, that you would never intentionally do that, and that you love him no matter what.
He may sulk for a bit, but he’ll get over it. You just have to hold back your laughter.
My husband has recently retired and he’s driving me crazy! He wants to talk the day away, and do everything together. I work from home and still manage our two children, our dog, and our house.
I’m not sure why he thinks that I have time for long, leisurely dog walks, lunches, and shopping. When I say sorry, I can’t right now, he gets hurt, pouts, and then gives me the cold shoulder.
We are financially comfortable, which is why he could retire at such a young age. But I love my work and have no interest in retiring at this point. It’s not about the money.
How do I get him to leave me alone during the day when I’m busy and he’s bored?
You said it yourself – your husband is bored. He needs to find something to do. This is a perfect opportunity for you to alleviate your stresses and take something off of your plate. Is he a good cook? Ask him to be in charge of grocery shopping and dinners – deciding what’s on and cooking it.
If that’s not his thing, put him on laundry duty – sorting, hanging, folding, putting the clothes away in their rightful closets.
You can also help him find something active that interests him, be it hiking with the dog, bike riding with a group, or swimming, since the weather is turning nicer by the day.
Most importantly, talk to him and explain that you are still busy, not retired, but happy he is.
FEEDBACK Regarding the grandparents not allowed access to their grandchildren (April 3):
Reader – “Missing grandchildren’s story sounds exactly like mine minus two siblings. My son hasn’t spoken to us for seven years.
“My husband and I would love to know a reason for the silent treatment. A couple of years ago we found out my grandson was not well through a third party. We telephoned my son to get more information only to be told there was nothing we could have done.
“My son does not talk to his sister and ignores her when in her company.
“We have tried to reach out but to no avail and the hurt and anger becomes overwhelming. We have attended many meetings with grandparents who suffer as well. Listening to their stories was gut wrenching and many were worse than ours.
“Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason for their actions.
I can assure my son was raised in a household where grandparents were always front and centre. There is nothing that a parent does that they should be denied access to their beloved grandchildren.
“We are certainly dealing with a different generation and not in a good way.”
Suffering as well
FEEDBACK Regarding the sister who feels subpar (March 30):
Reader – “Um, I’m pretty sure her issue is that she’s jealous!”
FEEDBACK Regarding the woman being hit on by her boyfriend’s brother (April 4):
Reader – “All she has to do is simple. Fix him with a cold stare and tell him to back off. Otherwise, it could ruin a very good friendship. The boyfriend need never know. That has worked for me. The brother will have respect for her when he finds out she can stand up for herself.”
FEEDBACK Regarding the woman who can’t seem to find a husband (May 8):
Reader – “Lisi, you responded with ‘you sound a bit shallow.’
“A bit?!? What does she have to offer, besides outward looks? If nothing else, that becomes old very quickly.
“When she opens her mouth, does anything intelligent actually come out?”
Lisi – I knew my readers would concur.