I’m having an issue with one of my home service providers. I get phone calls from them almost daily asking me to pay a bill. When I explain that I have already paid said bill, they then try to get me to switch services, and/or to add more services, which would inevitably increase my bill.

I’m happy with the service I get from this company, and with the amount of money I pay monthly per service. I have told them so numerous times, but they still are set on overkill.

How do I get them to stop? I am strongly considering switching providers.

Stop the push!

Ugh! I am so sorry you are going through this disaster. It always amazes me when providers push you so hard that you end up wanting to leave them. It’s the exact opposite of what they’re trying to achieve!

But first and foremost, are you certain that these people are legit calling from your provider? There are a LOT of scammers out there. And even the most aware can get sidelined. The best way to confirm you are speaking to someone legitimate is to hang up and call the provider back yourself. You can then ask to speak to the retention department. Tell them what is happening and how it is affecting you. Their job is to RETAIN their customers, so they should solve your problem.

If that doesn’t work, start shopping around for a different provider. Good luck!

I'm 62, married and the mother of four children. Currently, half of my children live overseas on two separate continents. We are constantly juggling time zones! Our children are hard workers and fine people.

My second eldest daughter recently messaged that she was unhappy with me for several reasons including my lack of interest with my young grandson. I completely admit that I have dropped the ball with our grandson, and I need and want to change. She mentioned it once before, which was hurtful and sad, and I’ve obviously made no progress.

It's not easy because she has lived abroad for more than a dozen years. She is unaware of how I spend my days, including caring for her aging grandmothers, my own mom and my mother-in-law, and still work.

My daughter also has a very toxic friend whom I don’t trust one bit. She has alienated everyone in her own family, and I fear she is coaching my daughter on how to alienate us. My husband, who is a great judge of character, wholeheartedly shares my opinion of this woman. She is a horrible influence on our daughter.

I really want to make amends and talk face-to-face but at the moment, we can’t afford the trip overseas, in time or money. Everything seems to get lost in translation over the phone, even if we FaceTime.

I'm just exhausted with all the business of my life and scared to do or say something to worsen the relationship with my daughter and her family.

Eggshells

It sounds to me as though you have a lot on your plate right now. Simply being a wife, a mother to four (adult) children, grandmother to more than half a dozen, daughter to an ailing parent, caregiver to an ageing mother-in-law and keeping your own career afloat is a lot! Kudos to you!

It takes strength to admit your own failures and dropping the ball with your grandson is painful, I’m sure. Perhaps your daughter and grandson could come to you for an extended visit so you could try to repair both relationships while still being available for everyone else. Bringing them home could give your daughter a fresh perspective, and distance from her toxic friend. It may help.

FEEDBACK Regarding the feedback section of your columns:

Reader – “I am sometimes tempted to write to you with ‘feedback’ about some things that appear in your column but usually don’t, as I have found that the opinions of others can be very enlightening. This is a large part of why I enjoy reading your column.

“Thank you for continuing to put out a column that gives us readers a chance to see other people’s problems, and to realize that we all have issues that we might be able to learn about from other people.  I do not know if you are syndicated down in the U.S., but it is good to see that some of the people who write to you are down there; personal issues should have no international boundaries to prevent our exchanging of ideas.”

Lisi – Thank you! I think a lot of people feel similarly as I do get a lot of feedback.