At 21, I was a virgin by intention, and had only been in a brief relationship with one person until I met my now ex-boyfriend. He was my age, had only had one brief relationship, and was also a virgin.

I felt so comfortable, unpressured, and completely happy with him. After two months of dating we decided to be each other's "firsts." Our relationship continued to develop, but finding time together between work and school became difficult.

We grew apart; he'd disappear for weeks. Eventually, he sent me an email saying he was no longer committed to our relationship and it's best if we move on. After a week of not reaching him, I replied, agreeing.

Several months later, I can't get over him. I cry constantly and can't sleep. I'm feeling that the only way to get over him is to talk to him face to face. But would that be smart?

Lost

Your "first" - in both love and intimacy - is a powerful memory, with the person and some events not easily forgotten, if ever. But you CAN move on, because a break-up with anyone is an alert that no matter how good the past was, your guy and/or circumstances changed, and so must you. You don't need face-to-face; you know it's over.

No one likes to hear this, especially by email, but you already recognized by his behaviour that the closeness and communication were gone.

You're strong-minded enough to have waited for love, now use that inner strength to value yourself and not wallow in grief. Every loss takes time to absorb; these are early days. But you're in a healing process. Get active with friends, family, school, and work ... more each week. You're already moving on.

Because my son is on his own, I stay at his place every second weekend to help when my grandson, three, is there.

Recently, the boy told me that his mother doesn't sleep wearing pajamas. I asked what she does wear, and he said "underwear."

I responded that some people prefer that. He next said his mother's boyfriend (a married man with two children) sleeps without pajamas, but not with underwear.

I worry this may have a bad effect on the boy.

He also said his mother said I'm old and fat. Is there a right way to respond to this stuff?

Speechless

The child's revealing the things that stick in his thoughts as confusing. His mother's got attitude toward you, so she's unlikely to listen to your very valid concerns.

Depending on the communication style between his parents, your son is the one to raise with his ex that the boy is talking about these things. She won't accept it if he comes down hard about it... he should simply say that it's obviously on the child's mind.

If she's got any brains at all, she'll know she has to suggest that her boyfriend at least wear a robe around the boy, or else she must find an explanation that the child accepts better.

Meanwhile, forget her insult - she's rude and thoughtless; since she's lucky you're such a caring grandmother.    Continue to support and reassure this child. When he chatters, listen closely, but you don't always have to provide a solution for him, just assurance that things will be all right.

Still, if you hear something more worrisome, such as the mother having the child sleep with them while the man is naked, alert your son immediately.

My husband of less than one year, 50, still relies on his mother. He's in hospital after having a serious (not life-threatening) vehicle accident. His parents drove five hours to "help" me with him. I learned they were planning on staying indefinitely.

While I worked days, she went to the hospital to bathe him. I confronted her, it went badly, and then he sided with her.

Appalled

Don't overreact unless you're sure this is a pattern that won't stop when he's better and back to normal living.

Hospital patients need an advocate and comforter around; this is true in almost every jurisdiction because staff is too busy and hard-worked to do any "extras." So if a relative can be there, it's not necessarily "babying."

However, if Momma's boy wants her to come home with him and continue constant care - unless it's crucial to his healing - you do have a problem to discuss.