Dear Readers - here are some questions from my live online chat of April 27, on the hot topic of emotional affairs vs. sexual affairs:

What to do when the ex is doing the pursuing - calling, leaving voice messages, calling other family members to "see how he's doing"? What about the unexplained absences by the husband when he's "just going for a drive?"

Emotional or sexual, this relationship is intrusive to your marriage, and being denied (badly) when it's plain that both your husband and his ex are involved in something.

Don't accept lies and vague answers.... insist he either ends the attachment or you two discuss seriously whether he's IN or OUT of your union.

I've been married to my husband for seven months and am usually very happy. However, I'm feeling an attraction to a man I work with. He's funny and very intelligent and there may be a bit of mutual attraction there. But I still love my husband. Should I confess these feelings for this other man to my husband?

No. Take those turned-on feelings home. There's a fine line between colleague friendships and trouble, so don't cross it by labeling this as an "attraction" or looking for mutual feelings. Shut them down before you go too far.

Do NOT worry your husband with this. If he's hurt or withdraws in anger, you'll likely turn to your colleague for comfort. And then you'll have big-time problems! One caveat... if you feel you're falling into an affair, DO talk to your husband immediately and hope the two of you have the strength as a couple to avert this.

I agree with everyone who says that technology today has made cheating - sexual or emotional - a lot easier. People are just a keypad's touch away, everything happens behind screens. I think it's changing the face of relationships today, introducing a whole new dynamic that will be the upcoming generation's challenge....

We all have to learn to handle the Internet, dating sites, and Facebook, and not just be overwhelmed and seduced by every new person we can contact and communicate with. The challenge is to maintain discretion, self-protection, and the commitments to people you truly love.

My experience is that emotional affairs lead to physical ones, which lead to divorce.

That's certainly a possibility that needs to be recognized from the start.

I have a very beautiful neighbour and we've hung out a couple of times, shared good conversation, and gone out four times, one of them scheduled ahead. Although I like her, I'm told it's perilous to date your neighbour, as it gets awkward when it doesn't work out or she's just being a friend. Any thoughts on this, Ellie?

You already know the pitfalls. So get to know her as a friend for a good while.... then who knows, sharing a mortgage might start to look worth the risk!

My ex keeps saying that we're meant to be and he's miserable without me, yet he's chatting online with many women. How do I know to trust him now, when he says he understands and has "changed'?"

Put it straight to him - he hasn't changed, and you can't trust him, because he's chatting online with other women. Even if he changes his passwords and you can no longer check on him, you need at least six months more apart - and no sex to soothe his "misery without you" - before you can give him a second chance.

What I need to know before I go any further legally with my husband of 40 years, is whether there was sex or not in his relationship with his ex. He says no, and told her they couldn't talk anymore - but on the cell phone bill we get, it doesn't show who called him!

Poring over cell phone bills won't tell you if this is/was a sexual affair. But you already believe it's an emotional one. A legal separation is tough to call, after 40 years, but it may be just as tough to live with this uncertainty, and also with being left out of his emotional life at this point.

See a lawyer, learn your own rights, and what would happen financially, and regarding life changes if you two separate. Show him, and demand that whatever kind of relationship he's having elsewhere, it stops, or you'll proceed legally.